Words I Never Said: Things I want to tell my Boss

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Wherever you are in the working world, you will encounter superiors aka “The Boss”. However, the majority of us, the minions we are, usually have a lot to say to our superiors, but are usually too afraid to “let em have it” for fear of losing our daily bread and butter.
Having these emotions bottled up usually makes for interesting Friday after-work banter, in which – after an hour or two of being liquored up – people explode about what they dislike about their bosses. After witnessing many moments like these, I got to thinking that my bosses aren’t that horrible; but if I could be totally honest with my boss without the fear of being fired, I may have a few choice words to convey to tell him or her. Like…
If is not too much to ask, can you please do your job?
I had a manager once who said, “Don’t come to me with problems only, but problems and solutions”. Now that’s a great philosophy. However, there is a reason why you were hired and why I am not in that position. If it is not too much to ask, can you solve a problem or two without me having to overly rack my brain as to how to solve this issue with my limited power within the organization?
Please stop using my work as yours
Being a good leader doesn’t mean that all good ideas need to come from you. This is why you have a team, so that they can come up with ideas. So please don’t pass them up as yours. It’s very disheartening and will force me to shut my mouth any time we need a solution to a problem. Lastly, are there copyright laws within an organization, so I can sue this guy?
Ok… if you drop any more work on my desk I may have to get violent
Yes I am paid to work, but what about Leroy over there, who is busy studying how to get past the fourth level of “Angry Birds”, while I’m hear drowning in a sea of e-mails and paperwork.
Stop referring to me as bredrin, friend, pal or any other sobriquet
Honestly we are not friends, and we don’t lime, so please refer to me by my name. I don’t think it’s appropriate, and if I do the same to you I am sure you will not like it either, especially in a director’s meeting.
Imagine your boss says, “Pal can you pass me the reports from this morning?”
You answer, “No scene horse. I did a presentation for them too. Daiz how I do son.” (Proceeds to look for a bounce).
That is not a pretty sight.
It might seem like an extreme example, but there are some bosses who take it to a whole other level. For instance, I once heard about a CEO who introduced the marketing manager to a board director as “The Heavy T bumper” in the office, because she thought the young lady had an ample derriere. Now, if it was the other way around, someone may have received a warning letter, right?
Lunchtime meetings or any part thereof are a ‘no no’
Need I say more? I have a large stomach, which groans ever so loudly, as soon as it’s 12.01 p.m. This beast needs to be tamed. Which leads me to my next point.
Any meeting longer than 30 minutes can lead to loss of interest
Fifteen minutes is the length of my attention span (that’s a lot for an I.T. guy). I can force it to 30 (due to my uncanny batman skills). However, after such, smart phones will come out of pockets, e-mails will be read and replied to, contacts will be bbmed with numerous sleepy emoticons, I will transform into Picasso, and my notepad will become a work of art.
Honestly, I think some bosses forget that they were once minions, like the rest of us. Something about the air ‘up there’ makes them forget, or not care, about how we think or feel.
Being a supervisor isn’t easy. However, some take their role for granted, and don’t realise just how important they are to a unit or organization, and boosting staff morale. Finding an understanding with employees encourages everyone to become more effective in achieving organizational objectives, and our ‘8 to 4’ lives a bit more bearable.
What do you wish your boss would do differently? If you could be totally honest, without the fear of being fired, what would you tell him or her?

 

Wherever you are in the working world, you will encounter superiors aka “The Boss”. However, the majority of us, the minions we are, usually have a lot to say to our superiors, but are usually too afraid to “let em have it” for fear of losing our daily bread and butter.

Having these emotions bottled up usually makes for interesting Friday after-work banter, in which – after an hour or two of being liquored up – people explode about what they dislike about their bosses. After witnessing many moments like these, I got to thinking that my bosses aren’t that horrible; but if I could be totally honest with my boss without the fear of being fired, I may have a few choice words to convey to tell him or her. Like…

“If is not too much to ask, can you please do your job?” 

I had a manager once who said, “Don’t come to me with problems only, but problems and solutions”. Now that’s a great philosophy. However, there is a reason why you were hired and why I am not in that position. If it is not too much to ask, can you solve a problem or two without me having to overly rack my brain as to how to solve this issue with my limited power within the organization?

“Please stop using my work as yours!” 

Being a good leader doesn’t mean that all good ideas need to come from you. This is why you have a team, so that they can come up with ideas. So please don’t pass them up as yours. It’s very disheartening and will force me to shut my mouth any time we need a solution to a problem. Lastly, are there copyright laws within an organization, so I can sue this guy?

“Ok… if you drop any more work on my desk I may have to get violent!” 

Yes I am paid to work, but what about Leroy over there, who is busy studying how to get past the fourth level of “Angry Birds”, while I’m hear drowning in a sea of e-mails and paperwork.

“Stop referring to me as bredrin, friend, pal or any other sobriquet.” 

Honestly we are not friends, and we don’t lime, so please refer to me by my name. I don’t think it’s appropriate, and if I do the same to you I am sure you will not like it either, especially in a director’s meeting.

Imagine your boss says, “Pal can you pass me the reports from this morning?”

You answer, “No scene horse. I did a presentation for them too. Daiz how I do son.” (Proceeds to look for a bounce).

That is not a pretty sight.

It might seem like an extreme example, but there are some bosses who take it to a whole other level. For instance, I once heard about a CEO who introduced the marketing manager to a board director as “The Heavy T bumper” in the office, because she thought the young lady had an ample derriere. Now, if it was the other way around, someone may have received a warning letter, right?

“Lunchtime meetings or any part thereof are a ‘no no’.” 

Need I say more? I have a large stomach, which groans ever so loudly, as soon as it’s 12.01 p.m. This beast needs to be tamed. Which leads me to my next point.

Any meeting longer than 30 minutes can lead to loss of interest Fifteen minutes is the length of my attention span (that’s a lot for an I.T. guy). I can force it to 30 (due to my uncanny batman skills). However, after such, smart phones will come out of pockets, e-mails will be read and replied to, contacts will be bbmed with numerous sleepy emoticons, I will transform into Picasso, and my notepad will become a work of art. Honestly, I think some bosses forget that they were once minions, like the rest of us.

Something about the air ‘up there’ makes them forget, or not care, about how we think or feel.

Being a supervisor isn’t easy. However, some take their role for granted, and don’t realise just how important they are to a unit or organization, and boosting staff morale. Finding an understanding with employees encourages everyone to become more effective in achieving organizational objectives, and our ‘8 to 4’ lives a bit more bearable.

What do you wish your boss would do differently? If you could be totally honest, without the fear of being fired, what would you tell him or her?

 

Image credit: newfrontiersinitiative.blogspot.com

Kern Elliott

Kern Elliott has always regaled people with his storytelling abilities. These stories are often blogged about or accompanied by gestures, when told in person. Kern is an I.T. professional with an Associate Degree in Information Systems Management and a BSc in Computing.

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