I wanna be a bad ting. No really. I do.
Here’s why. A guy could think you’re intelligent, cool, funny, and cute. He could even think you’re full of rainbows, complete with a pot of gold at the end (let’s ignore the leprechaun). Unfortunately, he might also think you’re ‘too good’ to mess with because you’re such a ‘nice’ girl.
The thought that someone thinks so highly of you that he or she doesn’t want to risk hurting you could be seen as flattering, but situations like this only make you feel like that excited university graduate who interviews for an entry-level position at their dream company, only to be told they’re overqualified for the job.
Splat goes the heart.
Why nice girls and guys have a hard time in love is one of life’s greatest mysteries. Since I fancy myself a descendant of Sherlock Holmes, I tried to come up with some reasons as to why this happens.
Perception is reality
He wants a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.
See, when a man thinks a woman is the virgin Mary, chances are she might pop out a kid nine months after he’s given up on trying to be with her. All the people who we think are good girls or guys are probably 50% less good than we think they are (yes that sounded like poor grammar). We magnify this halo we put on their heads, making them way more innocent than they really are, and placing them on a pedestal. And the more they try to convince us they’re not that good, the bigger the halo gets, and the higher the pedestal grows.
You ain’t nuttin’ but a teaser
Then there are the wannabe nice girls who give everybody a bad name. The story goes like this. You’re a good girl. You held him off for three, whole months. The only ‘south’ he went was San Fernando. You’ve got him like a dog who wants a bone. Problem is he already has a bone…er, and with all that holding off, he might decide to head by someone else. Now, I’m not saying give it up, nor am I saying to ignore things like STDs, which apart from messing with the order of the alphabet, also seriously mess with your health.
If you’re just as sexually charged as the next person, they’ll figure it out, especially if you’re forever making innuendos, licking your lips, and referring to Trojans not of Troy, but still want to stick hard and fast to your ‘rules’. Like Becket sings, “you eh nuttin but a teaser”, and when the other person figures that out, they’ll either try to conquer you, or move onto the next one.
People love drama
People love drama. Regardless of how much they say they don’t, they do. That could be the only reason why you see people getting all hot and heavy with some crazy, chemically imbalanced person, and when they meet a ‘nice’ girl or guy, all of a sudden they want to take it slow. Young and restless, are we? While I’m starting to get my Yoda on, I’ve also got to say that Beyoncé knew what she was talking about with “Crazy in Love”. What fun is love without a little insanity? So to all the good girls and guys, get you’re a%$ down to St. Anns.
Too Passive and Understanding
Sometimes we’re too nice for our own good. So we become instant pushovers, giving up our power. It happens in school. It happens at church. It happens with our friends and family. We let people take things from us, because we don’t want to make a scene or seem like we’re fighting for attention. Not that I’m saying we should beg anyone for attention. However, we’re the ones who hide just how sprung we are, quietly wait for the next person to make a move, put aside our needs, are way too accommodating, and let people dictate our pace. Actually, this passiveness may be the reason why people sometimes confuse ‘nice’ with ‘boring’.
Guys there’s also an old rule that’s understood, but hardly written. It’s called you won’t get any pussy by being a pussy. Since this is pretty self-explanatory, I won’t philosophize further. I’ll just say that the next time a girl tries to force you to drive all the way to St Helena for Japs chicken, when you’re right around the corner from Japs (San Juan), go to San Juan, and tell her you have some other ideas about what to do with that breast and leg. Ok… that might get you slapped, but you’re bright. You’ll come up with something unpussylike.
Bad tings have something you don’t
It could be the way they walk, even the way they talk, but the bad boys and girls always get a lil somethin’ somethin’. Maybe it’s because they’re not shy, they’re not emo, and they don’t call you every 15 minutes. Some of them are also brutally honest. The best players know that telling a girl, “Baby I eh lookin’ for nuttin too serious yuh know” are just the words to make a woman use all her efforts to prove that she can hook him. It’s an age-old trap, but one that works. Since you’re nice, you probably won’t be as sly, but maybe you could borrow some of their confidence, and dictate someone else’s pace for a change.
You take what you get
Another thing is, although the other person says they don’t want to hook up, they always want you around. So you lime with them every Friday, while they go track some random person outside Minglers on the Boulevard. That right there is a mix of being too passive, too nice, giving up power, and just not standing up for yourself. Plus, once you start acting like the wingman, you are the wingman.
I wish I could tell you how to avoid being left in the wings, but honestly I don’t know how. Hence, my knee-jerk thought about becoming a bad ting. *Licks lips and shakes hips*
The confusing part is people will tell you they want a ‘nice’ person, and you know what, they do mean it. However, not everyone bases his or her choices on how ‘nice’ you are, and being nice doesn’t guarantee you first place. Even when there’s magnet and steel attraction playing out between you two, logic and emotions can’t even figure out why you’re still not together. People hit you with the comforting line, “Don’t worry, people marry the good peeps in the end”. Nah son, sometimes the good peeps end up all by their lonesome. But you never know. Maybe nice girls and good guys do win in the end… when they’re 60, and bumpin’ gums.
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