Gay Marriage: Why it’s Time to Say Yes

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Last week, people all over the world let out a collective “it’s about time you admit it”, as President Obama came out of his ideological closet, and announced on ABC that his position on same-sex couples had evolved, and that he now is in support of same-sex couples having the right to be married.

Mr. Obama’s newfound commitment to the idea of same-sex marriage came about the same way every man commits to the idea of marriage – his significant other (the electorate) sat him down and told him that they have been together for three years now, and nothing is happening. All their other friends, England, Holland, Belgium, and even Spain have gotten married, and they need an assurance that he’s committed to this relationship, and they are so totally going to break up with him, if he doesn’t get his act together and propose soon.

Mr. Obama isn’t alone. All over the world, there is a growing consensus that denying same-sex couples the right to be married is wrong. And I concur. Here’s why.

No more buts about it

…gay apocalypse, where all hell breaks loose, and in which Satan descends from the sky on a huge disco ball…

I know for some people, the idea of gay marriage conjures up images of a kind of gay apocalypse, where all hell breaks loose, and in which Satan descends from the sky on a huge disco ball, surrounded by an army of men, who all look like Elton John and are riding pink unicorns, while trumpets blasting out the tune “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” are heard in the distance.

Sure that’s a frightening sight. But really, apart from preventing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from being played across the cosmos for eternity, there is no reasonable, or rational argument that can be made to deny same-sex couples the right to marry.

Let’s debunk some common “but excuses” people make, when confronted by the topic of same-sex marriage.

“But doesn’t the Bible say homosexuality is wrong and is a sin?”
Yes it does. Who gives a sh*t? And vampires die when exposed to sunlight? Look…I don’t mean to belittle anyone’s religion, but seriously, forget what the Bible says. We do not live in a theocracy, governed by religious doctrine or dogma. We live in a secular, plural, democratic society. You are free to believe in any bat-sh*t, crazy thing you want. But the state is not.

…try moving to the dark ages

The state’s legal framework is impartial to race, sex and religion. So should it be towards sexual orientation as well. If you want to live in a place where the Bible is taken as literal fact, and everyone and everything you do needs to adhere to it, you can try moving to the dark ages.

“But isn’t marriage a sacred and special religious act?”
Not really. As my cousin Vicky will tell you, you can show up at the Chaguanas warden office one day lunch time, wearing jeans and a Metallica tee-shirt, and, on impulse, get married to the boyfriend your parents don’t know about, and be back home in time to change to go to Sting nightclub to celebrate.

The state recognizes marriage like this, and with good reason. For the state, marriage is a legal procedure that isn’t hinged on religious belief. It affects issues of inheritance, custodial arrangements, and even tax payments, to name a few. There is no reason to deny this legality to same-sex couples.

“But wouldn’t this open the door for all kinds of strange things, like a man marrying a goat or his Playstation?”
Well. No. For one thing, there is a huge difference between two consenting adults who want their relationship to be legally recognized by the state, which doesn’t discriminate against their perfectly natural sexual orientation…and a man who wants to marry a f*cking goat!

Secondly, my friend Sheldon will gladly tell you that he is in fact already happily married to his Playstation, and has the trophies for “Call of Duty” to prove it.

“But the key element of marriage is sexual reproduction.”
Yes. True. The most important problem, today, is that we don’t have enough f*cking people living on the face of the earth.

I suppose by that logic, heterosexual men and women who are infertile should not be able to marry either.

“But isn’t homosexuality just a lifestyle choice?”
You mean like wanting to move in with someone, and have a family together? Like that lifestyle choice?

Aside from the hundreds of respected medical studies, medical institutions and scientific papers, which point to homosexuality not being a choice, I myself, as a heterosexual male, have never just got up and said, “Hey I’m going to try this gay thing for a while and see where it goes. See if it suits me”, as if it’s some kind of new, zany haircut I want to try out.

Labelling homosexuality as a lifestyle choice was started as a clever way by which crazy, religious people could then condemn it as a sin. (See above.)

“But marriage has always traditionally been between a man and a woman.”
Yes. Just like voting was once something traditionally only between upper class, and land-owning men, and picking cotton all day without being paid was once something traditionally only between black people.

But these ideas changed. And it was for the better of everyone in society. And there is no reason why marriage can’t change for the better of everyone in society as well.

“But the thought of gay sex is gross.”
Yes. But lots of things in life are gross. Like Kim Kardashian, the lines in PriceSmart, Ian Alleyne supporters, my job, and the West Indies Cricket Board. This list goes on and on. Suck it up and accept it.

Something old; something new
The same-sex marriage debate deals with larger and more important questions than homosexuality or marriage. It’s a debate about the ideas of freedom, equality and the role of the state.

Do we carry on with the status quo, acknowledging that not everyone in our society is treated fairly, but it’s ok, because that helps us to feel better about ourselves?

Or do we own up to the fact that we are in the 21st century, and it’s time to start acting like it. Even if that means changing everything we have ever known.

The parents of my aforementioned cousin didn’t get angry when they found out what she did. They weren’t pleased, but they conceded it was her life, and her decisions to make, and they supported her. They even organized a party for her and her husband.

I remember my uncle shrugging his shoulders and telling me, “She’s happy ent? They both happy. You can’t be vex with that. That’s all anybody does want in life.”


Image credit:

Darryn Dinesh Boodan

Darryn Dinesh Boodan is a freelance writer who works on Murray Street. Email him at


  1. Cate

    May 14, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Agreed on SO many points!

    In the “men marrying goats” scenario, you forgot to stipulate that animals and inanimate objects do not possess the free will to CONSENT to sexual or romantic relationships, and that will ALWAYS be the difference.

    And I have been saying for YEARS that marriage has NOTHING to do with religion. It is literally just a legal contract. We’re so accustomed to the luxury of marrying for love that we forget that entire nations were built through legal contracts known as MARRIAGES. Between people (see: monarch) who were often too young to “really” be married, and often times had never even met.

    • TT

      May 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      Mmmm…yes, because the primary objection to bestiality is the fact that the animals can’t ‘consent’. OK then!!!!!

      Also to the article, what makes a homo-sexual attraction ‘perfectly natural’ according to you, but an animal attraction not?

      Thirdly, people should just abandon their religion because you say so. All righty then!! Any other nuggets of advice?

      • Cate

        May 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm

        You…. are quite entertaining.

        The primary objection to bestiality IS that animals can’t consent. All reproductive animal species engage in sexual activity with members of their species, however those sexual interactions are precipitated by displays that indicate that the animal is a willing participant. (see: the males trying to impress the females etc.) With inter-species sexual contact (see: bestiality) there is no such indication. Two consenting adults engaging in sexual activity is NOT the same as imposing your will on another living creature. (see: raping a goat)

        Try again.

        At which point did I say to abandon religion? I said that marriage has nothing to DO with religion. That is not the same thing. Feel free to practice any religion you want, just don’t try to mandate that every marriage be rooted IN a religion.

        Reading Comprehension, love.

        • TT

          May 15, 2012 at 8:24 am

          If your primary objection to bestiality is due to the fact that the animals can’t ‘consent’ then you are a little sick in the head. A normal person would have a visceral reaction of disgust at the mere thought of having sex with an animal, regardless of consent or not.

          Would you also only object to incest if there was a lack of consent? Sick indeed.

          And you are telling me about reading comprehension when you obviously can’t read to begin with?

          I clearly stated that my second point was a response made TO THE ARTICLE – not to you.

          • Coconyts

            May 15, 2012 at 11:38 pm

            When Buddhists or Muslims or atheists marry in a predominantly Christian country, do you find it an offense to your religion? No. Because it is not your business, and the US government is secular, everyone can freely practice their beliefs provided they break no laws and more importantly hurt no one in the process.

            If you don’t like gay marriage then don’t marry someone of the same sex. It’s as simple as that. Since when is other people’s romantic lives your business? You didn’t have to ask the entire United States for approval when you married your husband/wife did you?

            The worst thing is that it’s you people who always call yourselves “Christians”, yet display none of the qualities of Jesus. Acceptance, forgiveness, kindness, unselfishness. You are more like the Levite who ignored the wounded man who was later helped by the Samaritan. More like the Pharisees who shut the gates of heaven to man as if they were the gatekeepers. You are too busy pointing out the sins of others, too busy telling people they’re going to hell, you fail to see common humanity. Fail to see that goodness is independent of belief, race, gender, or sexual orientation. You can go to church all you want, follow all the “laws” of the Bible and the rituals of your church, but that does not make you a Christian.

            Do you think God is as easily fooled as that? I think He’d rather let a gay person who led a life of true goodness and love in heaven than a heterosexual man whose own life is ruled by hate for that he could not understand. You are no worse than the Jihadist extremists who also think they can cheat God into letting them into heaven early by becoming “martyrs”.

  2. Jaime Lee Loy

    Jaime Lee Loy

    May 14, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Enjoyed this very much!

  3. Tuck

    May 14, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    I’m a gay man and I support gay marriage, I’d say
    it’s time to say yes when and only when NDAA, ACTA, patriot act and 42 military bases + multiple wars are out of the way. Gay marriage can wait. If they want it now, just make on and do it. No one or gov should be the one to tell them they have the right and freedom or not. Obama only wants the vote from LGBTQ, once he goes into the parliament, he’ll be “struggle” whether it’s the right thing to do. Really, there is a video on youtube, just search “Obama, I struggle with this”.

    I don’t want to have a marriage if it means internet is being watched by gov and closed by them. I don’t want a marriage where my life can’t even get a trial or lawyer. If my marriage means people are dying Syria, Arabs, Iran and many other countries +42 military bases around the globe, then I can live without it.

    Vote for Ron Paul for individuality. It’s the correct way to stop division and separation.

  4. Benny Wit-Patrón

    May 14, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    They should be more worried about someone marrying a goat than someone marrying same sex !

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