Are we meant to be tamed?
Many moons ago, a friend told me that my personality was so strong, she thought it’d be a problem for guys. Scientific evidence to support her claim is still to be found.
However, I remembered this a Saturday night ago when I thought to myself, are we meant to be tamed or should we run wild and free? Is there something wrong with asserting our true selves with no fear of how people will receive us?
Should a strong woman be afraid of appearing too strong for a man or vice versa?
See society tries to make you fit a mould. We’re all afraid to be strong personalities and truly express ourselves. Even those people who you think are strong and brave may not have even cracked the surface of their true selves.
In trying to be accepted or to behave like any other ‘normal’ person, we keep ourselves in a shell. In trying to not appear to be ‘too strong’, we’re holding back ourselves.
‘Is there something wrong with asserting our true selves’
We’re afraid to own our power, and to place our stake on what we want in life. It’s like watching Whitney Houston (in her hey day of course) and thinking to yourself, “I’m a great singer”. Yet you’re afraid to sing in front of a small group of friends, far less to step out on a stage and share yourself with an audience. You don’t want to appear to be too sure of yourself or cocky. No one’s asking you to become a diva, but you’ve got to have some faith in yourself.
If former Digicel Rising Star Kay Alleyne didn’t believe in herself enough to enter the competition, she probably would have never shared the stage with Chaka Khan (which she did at the Tobago Jazz Festival earlier this year).
If Ato Boldon didn’t believe in his skills, he wouldn’t have become an Olympian nor go on to become a broadcaster. If Richard Thompson allowed himself to be psyched out by Usain Bolt in the Olympics, he probably would have never medalled. If Usain Bolt told himself he couldn’t become the world’s fastest runner because of his multiple sclerosis, then he wouldn’t be where he is today.
See there’s nothing wrong with coming on strong, as long as you don’t hurt anyone.
If we truly stopped to consider our true potential, and how behaving ‘normal’ keeps us from achieving our maximum reality, maybe we’d be a bit more willing to be wild and free. Do you see a lion trying to stifle his roar or a bird keeping their morning chirps at an all-time low? If they were to do so, then they wouldn’t be who they are.
‘… behaving ‘normal’ keeps us from achieving our maximum reality’
Tarzan had a real point when he pounded his chest and let out his famous “oh oh oh oh oh” (it’s kind of difficult to communicate his pitch in words). Sometimes you’ve just got to act all King Kong, pound that chest, and get ready to take on the world.
We see dynamic people. The Oprah Winfreys. The Barack Obamas. The Beyonces. The Damien Marleys. The Machel Montanos. The Destra Garcias. The Allison Hinds. They’re going out there and claiming their stake. We admire their presence. We admire who they are because they are achieving their potential.
Somewhere, our admiration is based not on sheer awe, but the subconscious desire to be like them – to be able to share who we are and our talent with everyone, unafraid or unwilling to be phased by people’s reaction to us.
If I tried to stifle who I am then I wouldn’t be true to my friends, family or myself. If I tried to pretend to be a much softer personality, then I couldn’t provide the sort of support I do for my loved ones. If I tried to stifle my so-called strong personality, then my own personal spark would dissolve, and I wouldn’t be that special anymore. The thing that my loved ones love most about me would be gone. More importantly, that passion inside – which I’m yet to pinpoint the true source of – would be gone. I’d be another human being… just being.
I wouldn’t have had the nerve to even start Outlish, nor would I have had the nerve to leave my cushy job. If my friends weren’t strong and sure in their own steps, they wouldn’t have supported me either. We all agreed that we needed the appropriate environment to nurture our potential, so if we couldn’t find it where we were at the time, then we’d have to create that environment for ourselves.
See, we aren’t meant to be tamed. When you become tame, that’s when you lock off all the possibilities for your life.
Think again of the lion. In the wild, he is the king of the jungle. In captivity, he’s just another cat, left to lick his paws in a state of self-pity. So what’ll it be? It’s your call.
Author bio: Karel Mc Intosh is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Outlish Magazine. She’s also a Marketing Communications and Training Consultant, who likes to do things with a twist. A real online junkie, when she isn’t surfing the Internet, she’s thinking about surfing the Internet. Follow her at twitter.com/outlishmagazine.
Image credit: Ben Heine.