If you’re an inhabitant of Mother Earth, you’ve definitely heard women’s cries about men and their less-than-complimentary ways. Whether it be “men are dogs”, “men are the worst” or “all men care about is sex” – we’ve heard it all. If you’re like me, you’ve heard it so much that it is enough to make you believe that most men are bad, and all women are flawless queens who deserve the best there is to offer.
However, I can tell you from experience – whether it be with female friends or girlfriends of my own – women aren’t that much different. For every ‘good girl’ out there, there’s another woman who is the exact opposite. As a matter of fact, I’ve realised that some women are equal to, or even worse than your average man when it comes to relationships, which I probably would have never realised, if I had only listened to my mother.
I’m lucky enough to have a great relationship with my moms, but like most young folks, sometimes I like to ‘hol a burn’ and then say, “Moms was right”. So, I’m going to use the advice I’ve ignored, and the experiences I’ve gained, thus far, to list some of the women you need to avoid, if you’re serious about getting into a relationship (because contrary to popular belief, there are some guys who aren’t out to break hearts).
Now, at 22, I’m still what you’d call a young un, so I’m not going to pretend that I know everything. But I’ve experienced some of the following scenarios, and after having a nice chat with moms last week about some of the Delilahs to avoid, I’m going to do my brotherly duty and share what I’ve learned so far.
1. Gold diggers
We always think the rich men are the ones who have to hide their wallets. But if you’re not so wealthy, and have the potential to work your way to the top, watch your back as well. You’re not rich enough to be only slightly irritated that you lost your limited funds. You will be really upset when you add all the Hakka meals, MovieTowne tickets, outfits, hair appointments, and cell phone bills you wasted your salary on.
It’s easy to spot a gold digger, but some men still get blinded by physical beauty and ego stroking. But you know what she’s up to because she’s hardly interested in any convo that does not involve financial or material things. And when she’s being totally submissive and making you feel like a king – what most men would call the perfect woman – you know something’s up. In the words of Master Yoda, exist, she does not. Out to have full access to your bank account, she is. Ultimate skill in controlling your light saber, she possesses. Beware, you must.
2. Users/ Abusers
Simply put, this is the type of woman who is only interested in you because you have what she wants at a point in time. I know what you’re thinking… isn’t this the same as above? The answer, however, is no, because she wants so much more than just your money. She wants anything she seems to need at the point in time from you. That could be emotional support to help her rebound from a recent breakup, or regular chauffeur services. When you can no longer provide her needs, she moves on to someone else, possibly even while she is still with you. I would have tried to highlight what all her needs are for you, but this type of woman is sometimes so confused about what she wants, that it constantly changes.
This is the type of woman who you probably view as being very independent, yet she’s single as hell in her older years. That’s because she probably had a lover that she emasculated to the point of divorce. I’m here to help you avoid being that guy.
The feminist constantly reminds you of how great she is, how powerful women are, and, while stating how equal women are to men, subtly reminds you that women are better than men (and ultimately, that she is better than you). This woman will constantly try to wear the pants in the relationship, completely stripping you of any manhood you thought you had.
Her origin is unknown, but it is possible she comes (mentally) from a time where men were superior to women in the world, and fought so much to prove a woman’s worth that she became drowned in her own findings of how strong women really are. Ultimately, she’s lost sight of how strong men are as well, and instead of trying to be equal, she tries to gain the upper hand in everything. You are strong. You are invincible. You are woooo-ma-ha-ha-an! Ok, we get it. Now please shut up and make me a sandwich. Oh… what’s that ladies? You don’t like my sexist joke? Guess what, I don’t like you attempting to boss me around. I treat you like an equal; act like one, and we can all walk away happy.
The same way that you ladies probably didn’t like me insinuating that women have a role (seemingly a subordinate one), men equally despise being emasculated.
This type of woman is not completely emo in the traditional sense of the word, but possesses many of the traits of a person who generally carries the tag. She tends to carry a lot of baggage, and has a consistently unhappy outlook on life, love, and, ultimately herself (possibly even unnecessarily so). With that being said, she is completely emotionally unstable and makes everything about her instead of about the relationship, rarely or never shows interest in your problems, joys or even life, and will drag you into her own world of self-hatred and pity.
Usually this sort of behaviour is triggered by a catastrophic event, such as a family problem, or a past relationship, but you will spend all your energy trying to make her realise that she is more than worth the love and happiness you are willing to give, when the reality is she cannot even love herself. So how can she love you and ultimately forge a happy relationship?
Finally – the last of the bunch. Upon reading the heading, you probably think I’m telling you not to get involved with women at all. However, I’m telling you to not like GIRLS. Girls can come in all ages. Even if they are legally women, they are not mentally at that level just yet.
They pretend to be mature and better than other women, but are only good at faking it for short periods. They’re also very unsure about what they truly want (although they always appear to be, and say that they are) and they live in a fairy-tale world.
They pretend to be independent and smart, yet are easily influenced by outside forces (most likely close female friends… or should I say, girl friends?). They’re in a relationship with you, yet still somewhat want to live the life of a single woman – partying all the time, drinking, dancing and dressing irresponsibly, and wanting to be in control of her life the way she sees fit, instead of forging a life that involves you.
They try to make and keep you content, until they realise it is actually a responsibility to keep their partner happy. This is an issue for them, since in their mind the relationship is supposed to be an escape from responsibility and an aspect of their life that is only supposed to bring easy joy. As soon as you start to become somewhat a burden, that “love” they felt before is easily transferred to the next schmuck. Avoid.
So there you have it, five women to avoid at all costs. Like one of my favourite artistes, Kid Cudi, says, “I’m your big brother. What do I have to say to the kids?” Fellas, I am only looking out for your bank accounts, hearts, and, ultimately, your manhood. To the ladies, who may think I’m hating, look at it this way… I’m helping you out by encouraging the fellas to appreciate sincerity.