Why I Hate Job Interviews

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Have you ever seen the site theoatmeal.com? It has comics that this guy draws about the most outrageous way you can view a scenario. He is an “I.T guy”, so my friends and I can relate to what he speaks about. However, he has a unique way of putting together words that create the most hilarious sentences.

I stumbled upon two comics, based on interviews, and I said to myself, “Self you have been to numerous interviews…how about you write about some of your most ridiculous experiences with such”. And with the press of a button, this article was born.


As an I.T. professional, I apply for numerous jobs to test myself as to what kind of I.T. specialist is needed in various types of companies, and whether I remotely fit the mold. An unfortunate side effect of this is that I am usually called to many interviews, and many of them go pretty well; but I have a few that weren’t so great that I would like to share with you. So without further adieu here are my worst experiences with interviews:

The long uncomfortable wait to be interviewed

If you are late for an interview, you are frowned upon. However, the interviewers seem hell bent on punishing you with uncomfortable hour-long stares into your opponents’ eyes, before you are interviewed. Hmm…what should I do in this case? Make it smart phone time? It’s time to look really important to the future owners of my pay slip.

Incorrect information

I had an interview once for an organization, when the person who called me for the interview had no idea what post I was interviewing for, and left a message without stating where the interview will be and no contact number as to how more information could be obtained. This should have been a sign saying that Kern doesn’t belong here. However, after some investigations (Batman skills) I found the organization. In the end, though, they didn’t tell me they required my original certificates (which, in retrospect, I admit I should have walked with), and the contact numbers for their office were also incorrect, so I couldn’t inform them of my late arrival due to traffic.

Crappy questions

 

An interview should not be a verbal mauling by the panel to an interviewee. I have had an interview where I was asked to solve a complex I.T. problem with no research, no history and no idea as to what systems they used. It felt like a math problem where X+Y=?

In the end, I put forward the suggestion that I am not Professor X, and I cannot read your thoughts. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. Now, thinking about it, I can give at least six questions I hate to get in an interview, because if you answer truthfully it will be an insult to the panel (you know…the type where for one second you pretend to say in your mind what you want to say, then say something politically correct). However, we will leave that for another article.

Interviewers

Ok, do you really need to have three or four people interviewing me at the same time? Even a victim and a defendant get to hear from one judge. Sometimes it feels like I’m Green Lantern, surrounded by those smurf-looking guys, and I’m being judged on my every word and movement. Oh, and wait…you just answered your phone during my interview. Come on, I just missed two vibrations about six minutes ago. Where is my constitutional right to answer my smart phone?

Communication

Is it really necessary to use such complex jargon while speaking to me? I mean, words like, underpinned (meaning supports) and caveat (no idea what this means)…Why the ‘big’ words? What makes it even worse is that if you try to ask them what it means, they act as if even their two-year-old kid knows what it means.

Why all the pressure? Wikipedia describes a job interview as a process in which a potential employee is evaluated by an employer for prospective employment in their company, organization, or firm. During this process, the employer hopes to determine whether or not the applicant is suitable for the job. However, based on my experience, my definition would be a process in which interviewers try their best to not find someone who can do the work, and just look for someone who can speak like someone who can.

At the end of the day, my actual work ethic cannot be determined by a sole interview – especially if I’m nervous, stuttering while I speak, and cannot understand why you would ask me a question such as, “If I call your manager right now what would she say?” My best guess would be, “Hello”.

Check out the rest of this week’s issue (08/08/11; Issue 69):
How Being an Entrepreneur affects your Personal Life
Why I Hate Job Interviews
Adult Temper Tantrums: Justified or Not?
CXC in Life Skills: The Missing Link?
Little things Women do that Annoy Men
5 Little Known Artistes who deserve Radio Airplay
Look out for a new issue of Outlish every Monday!
Stalk us on Facebook at facebook.com/outlishmagazine

Check out the rest of this week’s issue (08/08/11; Issue 69):

Look out for a new issue of Outlish every Monday! 

Stalk us on Facebook at facebook.com/outlishmagazine

 

 

Kern Elliott

Kern Elliott has always regaled people with his storytelling abilities. These stories are often blogged about or accompanied by gestures, when told in person. Kern is an I.T. professional with an Associate Degree in Information Systems Management and a BSc in Computing.

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