Why God is NOT a Trini

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With Tropical Storm Tomas recently passing Trinidad by a hair’s breath, Trinis all over could only claim one thing: God is a Trini. I, too, could swear his navel bury somewhere in T&T, with some of the evidence presented.

Let me put forth moments of his Trini-ness: Hurricane Joyce of 2000, Bret of 1993, and Arthur and Fran of 1990 – which were all on a collision course with Trinidad, when at the last second they turned north with their tails between their legs.

God used the same stick he used to pelt mangoes with in his childhood to turn those storms north. Only a Trini God could do that. Whatever those meteorologists say about Trinidad being too far south and those convection currents and jet streams affecting the storms is a pack of nonsense.

See, because we’ve been spared some major calamities, and because we avoid hurricanes without fail (why else would we fete when there’s a storm watch on), Trinis are convinced that heaven is on their side. We don’t have voodoo priests or priestesses in Trinidad and Tobago to make him turn his back on us. Oh no. You can’t go far in Trini without seeing a church, a mosque or a mandir. Everywhere you turn… is one set of prayers Trinis sending, so we safe.

 

“You can’t go far in Trini without seeing a church, a mosque or a mandir.”

I could explain, in exhaustive detail, why God is a Trini, but I have another theory. See, I feel he has dual citizenship, because if he was a diehard Trini, he wouldn’t let certain things happen. For instance:

When it comes to aiding our Caribbean neighbours, the Prime Minister wouldn’t have to study what our economy can handle. We’d send five loaves of bread, five outfits from Detour and Catwalk, and five HDC houses, and that would feed, clothe and shelter an entire country. If He really was a Trini, wouldn’t the current PM have used more compassion in declaring how we’d aid those devastated by Tomas, putting faith in our Trini God to instantaneously replenish our treasury while we unselfishly ‘dip out’ to help those in need?

Then again, maybe God is a Trini, protecting us from creeping dictatorships, the likes of Castro or Chavez. Still, consider the list of politicians who have served our nation, from Chambers and Robinson to Manning and Panday. Regardless of their tendencies, they weren’t that bad. However, were they the best leaders to manage our idyllic, oil-rich country? No good and loving deity would have subjected us to their whims and fancies. If God was a Trini, would he really have let Patos win so many elections, then call a snap election on hubris and loss? Then again, maybe He really is a Trini… because He likes a pappy show.

 

“Maybe He really is a Trini… because He likes a pappy show.”

I mean… if God was a Trini, we wouldn’t have to ask Interpol to help us find Calder Hart. As a just God, He would have told Mr. Hart to come home and face the music, even if it might only be a jam and wine, with plenty energy, and no substance.

You know what’s my pet peeve with this whole God is a Trini claim though? If heaven is paved with gold, why do we have so many potholes? And why the only money you find stuck in the asphalt is a one cent, or a ten cent if you lucky! And don’t get me started on CLICO. If God was a Trini, would he have let CLICO implode like that? God manages heaven’s inexhaustible treasures… I’m sure he would’ve stopped the makings of that financial disaster before so many innocent people could be affected.

Now in any form of religion in which He appears, we know that God is both compassionate and righteous. When things are good or mysteriously in our favour, we’re ready to jump up and say God is a Trini, but when they are bad – think poor infrastructure, ineffective police, evil men abusing and murdering children, lawlessness, predictable flooding, seesaw politics or any other woe that is routinely harped upon – we don’t want to even blame Him or revoke His citizenship?

Trinis have decided for themselves that God must be a true Trini, who enjoys “bacchanal” as much as us. We feel He must be our partner because other than blessing us with a geographical location just left of the hurricane belt, which other Caribbean island has the best Carnival, the best food, and the most beautiful women on Earth? So why can’t the highest power be Trini too?

From the look of things, He only affects the weather in our parts. Or maybe He just wants us to take care of the rest of our problems. Although I still have my doubts about this God is a Trini argument, I want to stay on the safe side; so I’ll just say, Father forgive me for even suggesting you’d think of getting another passport. I wouldn’t want to go down for blasphemy.

 

Author bio:  Ayinde Warner is an artist, budding writer, amateur photographer and an incessant dreamer. When he isn’t all those things, he is a mechanical engineer, husband and Trini.

 

Image courtesy iStockphoto.com

 

Check out the rest of this week’s issue (Issue 31, 8/11/10)

 

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