So yuh find yuhself suddenly attracted to someone. This person could actually be “the one”, and suddenly you’re daydreaming about their smile, and their walk, and stalking – ok ‘checking’ their Facebook profile umpteen times per day. However, your newfound love interest happens to be someone you work with.
In a situation like this, you have to be real tactical in your tracking endeavours, and eventually – if you’re lucky – keeping the relationship status under the radar. After all, this is your job, the place that pays you that needed salary every month, not to mention, do you really want the whole office to know yuh ‘checking’ for a co- worker? Not really, right?
Finding love in the office isn’t uncommon. Most people spend more than eight hours a day working together, and some tend to form social networks outside of the office. This creates an ideal setting for the full range of human attraction to develop. While pursuing a love interest at the office may be a big no-no by some, is dating someone you work with a really such a bad idea?
Some of my close friends didn’t really see a problem with it; others thought it would be an awful idea. One of my girlfriends even responded, “Why would you sh*t where you eat?”
“That would be a messy situation if persons aren’t prepared to deal with the backlash,” said David (name changed to protect identity) who spoke from personal experience. “Especially if sex was involved and you both are no longer together, it just makes things uncomfortable.”
I think it all depends on the individuals involved, and how they go about handling their business. Now take David’s situation, for instance. He met a ‘bess ting’ on the job, she was new, and he was the one to show her the ropes. Eventually, they began working together on projects and spending more than just work hours together. They quickly became an item with one thing leading to the next, only for him to realise that she was a bit, well possessive. She didn’t want him hanging with his friends unless she was there, she’d be sweet and then go off on him for no real apparent reason.
“The girl was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” he said.
Ultimately, he called things off and that’s when things got really ugly. He got threats via email, BBMs, and voicemail, so he changed his number. But they worked together, and that meant projects had to be completed as usual. But he was being sabotaged by his co–worker. Things got so bad that eventually he took a transfer to another branch.
You see… you’ll need to apply some common sense to this whole love in the workplace scenario; after all, if things turn sour between you and you newfound boo (as in meh brethren’s case), you still have to come to work to face that individual every day, which could be awkward and embarrassing. Bear in mind that while you work with someone you’re romantically involved with, there has to be boundaries established where work is concerned and not everyone capable of doing so.
You both have to understand that personal business shouldn’t be brought into the office period; nothing screams unprofessional more than a love tiff unfolding at the office, especially if it affects your work productivity – which reflects negatively on your part. Besides, no one wants to see a re-enactment of Jazmine Sullivan’s “Bust the windows” being played out in the company’s car park because of broken hearts and egos. Keep the drama away from work by all means.
Having witnessed many hooks up and break-ups at the office, I can honestly say, as with any relationship you get involved in, that taking time to know the person is ideal. And working alongside someone you’re interested in allows you to do just that. You’re at an advantage to observe them even more and how they handle different situations. Establishing a friendship is great, but let’s be real, that isn’t always the case. Some of us rush past the ‘friend-zone’ straight to ‘in a relationship’ status. Taking things slowly can give you some insight on your love interest.
Now, while you may have to take time to get to know each other, there is something as spending too much time together. Working together can be great; after all, you’re in love. But being with each other together socially on evenings and weekends, followed by seeing each other at work during the day can be a bit… well… much. This may actually take the excitement out of the relationship. I mean… when do you get to miss each other?
Spending all of this time together may also make you start to notice little things about each other that may be annoying. This can actually cause tension and add pressure to a new relationship. There has to be a balance if this situation has to work between you and your office flame.
As I mentioned earlier, discretion could be a challenge in an office environment, and someone is bound to start the gossip mill once suspicion arouses. Hiding the romance may create an even bigger spectacle, and while some people don’t really care about others finding out, sneaking around only encourages more gossip. Once people find out, however, they would have to deal with it and eventually they quickly move on to the next ‘hot’ topic in the office.
Though there may be naysayers about office relationships, that doesn’t mean that all relationships that start this way end tragically. I’ve seen actual marriages stem from office ‘hook-ups’, and they are still going strong today. These individuals understand what it takes to make their relationship work both in and out of the office, without one affecting the other.
Love happens to all of us at some point in our lives, and while we may not be able to control who we fall for – whether it’s a co-worker or not – you just have to be smart about how you handle dating someone you’re interested in. Think things through carefully, weigh your options, and get to know each other. Once you’ve covered all your bases, with regards to work, you’ve covered the easy part. The challenge as with any relationship is making it work.
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