Lesbian Love: Why Ladies aren’t Easier to Handle than Men

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As a lesbian, I’ve grown accustomed to getting many odd questions, from the heterosexual men and women I associate with, some of which are funny and innocent; others are downright stupid, and even plain rude. So, often, I just let these things roll off my back, but there is something that has recently begun to really chap my @ss.

“I’m done with men!”

Too often, women make statements in their post-breakup funk – things like, “Man is too much trouble yes. I going and find a woman!” Or they look at me and say, “You have it so easy; women are so much easier to be with than men!”

This is usually the point at which I start laughing at the very notion that women are easier to be in a relationship with than men, because…honestly…they have no clue what they are talking about. Ha! Woman easier to handle! What drugs you smoking!

Why do I say this? Well let’s see…


You are talking about two equally hormonal persons in a relationship, and maybe the same house. With a heterosexual relationship, chaos erupts once a month, at the shift in the hormones of the woman known as PMS and menstruation, and boy does this cause all sorts of problems. Now think about that multiplied by two – two women in one house each with their own PMS and hormones.

If your cycles don’t sync (which can happen), you get this chaotic shift of hormones, and all-ensuing fighting, crying, bitching, and the seemingly irrational irritability twice for the month (and this excludes other issues or general moodiness that can pop up on non-menstrual days eh).

But if your cycles do sync, it’s no better because now you have two women being moody, bitchy and irrational all at the same time. Lord help anyone in the house at this time, because all hell really does break loose when you have two equally hormonal and emotionally linked women caged in one house.

God forbid that both women decide to get pregnant at the same time, because I don’t think a house could stay standing through the emotional and hormonal turmoil of two pregnant women at the same time.

Women are generally emotionally flighty

Simply put, you NEVER know what is going to happen next in the daily emotional roller coaster of a woman’s emotions. Oh don’t get me wrong, when a woman falls in love or decides she is in love, her love doesn’t easily change. I’m talking about the smaller emotions. Some women go from happy to sad, to angry and all the other emotions on the spectrum faster than you can bounce a light beam off the moon’s @ss.

Just because I’m a woman does not mean I always understand women

Lord knows that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Women are such unique beings, that understanding them is impossible, no matter who you are. Each one comes with different parameters and issues and frustrations. So don’t kid yourself ladies, you’ll be just as stumped in knowing how to relate with a female lover, as you were with men.

Furthermore, all those bad things that you say men do, lying, cheating, taking you for granted, breaking your heart, etc., a woman is just as capable and willing to do it. Hurt is hurt, no matter the gender. It is not limited to things that a man does to a woman. We all hurt others at some point, whether willingly or not.

Stop the stereotypes

So you’re done with men right? But you still want a ‘man’ in your life. You think that you can hop the fence and find all the ‘manly’ qualities you like in a man in the woman you claim you are looking for? Not going to happen!

Too often, people try to label persons in a same-sex relationship, according to the same tired stereotypes, such as there must be a ‘man’ and a ‘woman’ in the relationship. That, however, is not necessarily true.

You can’t define us by the roles you use in your own relationships, and, by extension, you can’t expect to get the same things that you got in your heterosexual relationship in the one you are claiming you want with someone of the same sex.

Yes there are women who are more masculine than others, just as there are men who are more feminine, but that doesn’t mean that one is going to be the ‘man’ and the other the ‘woman’. It just doesn’t always happen that way. And most of us would appreciate it, if you stopped labelling us with your roles just to make you feel better about it.

So ladies, the next time a man breaks your heart, think twice before you say that a woman would be a better choice, because I can definitely tell you that a woman can break your heart just as easily, casually and ruthlessly as any man could. Being a homosexual is about more than just sex with someone of the same gender. The gender of the persons in the relationship doesn’t change that fact that the relationship will have its share of frustrations and tests.

And to all the lesbians out there reading this…Doh kill mih! Cuz yuh know it’s true!


Image credit: weheartit.com


  1. Sade

    March 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    I love this story and its all true.

  2. Blue Rave

    March 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Dead on. Kudos for this.

  3. Trinichic

    March 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm


  4. Kareem McKenzie

    March 13, 2012 at 11:33 pm


  5. Rhonda Ottley

    March 13, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    hahhahaha very cool. i always say i doh envy men nuh, we eh easy in truth!

  6. Frank Rivas

    March 13, 2012 at 11:36 pm

    ohh snap!

  7. Marilyn Haynes Smith

    March 13, 2012 at 11:37 pm

    I believe it’s about “relationship” tolerance more than gender!

  8. Josh Ryan

    March 13, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    That’s like saying someone’s sexual orientation can be fluent enough to switch sides, and I’m sure it’s not. I highly doubt women who say “Men are too much trouble I going and find a woman” were actually straight in the first place.

  9. Lyris Jack

    March 14, 2012 at 1:14 am

    Try Jesus.

  10. Trinichic

    March 14, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    @Josh Ryan – i dont think the article is about the sexual orientation of the women saying these things so much as them thinking that by switching sides the relationship would be easier

  11. Aaron L

    April 7, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Beautifully written and accurate Article!

  12. Joel Henry


    May 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Society in general has this notion that men are villains and women are victims, so its easy to stereotype lesbian relationships as harmonious. Real life is much more complex. I remember reading a bisexual commentator on a forum once who said she had been abused by a man as a child so stayed away from relationships with them. It was after some years of being involved with women that she realized what men have to put up with.

  13. Legal eagle

    September 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Hey Lady Lover,
    I am coming to Tdad for a few months and I would like to know where the gay scene is, assuming there is a scene. I read a depressing article in Outlish but I am hoping that its not as bad as that all the time.

  14. Bi Woman angered by this

    January 17, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    So perhaps you should leave women to other heterosexual women crossing over, and go back to men yourself, since you consider us so “flighty and emotional”, men so superior, and yourself so beleaguered.

    Let me guess: butch, right?

    Hell: you’re basically a man yourself. Clueless about us.

    I’m bi and have none of these problems with women I date. By the way, please illuminate us: exactly what speed does it require to bounce a light beam off of the moon? As an astrophysicist, I would love to find out.

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