How to get a commitment phobic man to commit

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Trying to get a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship… to be in a relationship… is like trying to fit a rhinoceros through a mouse-hole. So why do girls keep trying to do it?
If a man doesn’t want to be committed to you, why try to force him? Oh, and note the difference between him wanting to be with you, and him wanting to commit to you. Women like to hate on men who just want some booty or to have some fun. Can you really blame them if you’re a hottie and want to ‘get some’? They have needs. Like dogs… they like to hump. Ok men I’ll be nice.
Seriously though. Some men are very upfront about they willingness or unwillingness to commit. They might tell you they like you. They may lime with you often. They may even ‘run up’ their phone bill, talking to you. You’re convinced they like you, and you’re probably right. They do like you.
However, when someone – man or woman – doesn’t want to commit to an exclusive relationship, like and love don’t have as much say as we think. Love is not always as strong a force as gravity to make sure that they have no choice but to plant their feet firmly on the ground next to you.
Let’s look at the potential for a couple moving from a steady relationship to marriage. Most girls treat almost every guy they date as prospective husband material. They’re more smitten with the idea of marriage than with wanting to marry someone because they’re smitten by the person. Guys, on the other hand, know the type of woman they want to marry, and so they keep having fun, or move through several ‘serious’ relationships until they find ‘that’ person.
Fact is… some men don’t believe in marriage – especially if they came from a broken home. Psychologists see a clear relationship between commitment phobia, and a traumatic childhood. Studies show that people who suffer from commitment phobia are deeply influenced by their childhood experiences that have seared their subconscious minds and given birth to such unrealistic fears. These include the death of a parent, a messy divorce, or parental abuse. In their minds, avoiding long-term, ‘serious’ relationships prevents any chance of being hurt.
Commitment-phobic people are easy to spot. They have short-lived relationships, wear their scars from previous relationships on their sleeve, date ‘unavailable’ people (who are ‘committed’ to someone else), back out of plans at the last minute, or are ‘hot’ one day, and ‘cold’ the next. Then of course, there’s them being straightforward, and saying, “I’ve been hurt in the past and I’m afraid to get hurt again”. Pussies… that’s what they are. Once you’ve made it through one really bad heartbreak, you can survive another. Anyway… I digress.
For a man, a relationship is sort of like a responsibility. He has a responsibility to be faithful. He has a responsibility to call you when he’ll be home late. He has a responsibility to be supportive. Now, of course that’s the ideal situation. However, there are some men who will only take up that responsibility for a woman who they feel deserves that respect. Then there are men who will waste your time. You think you’re heading somewhere, but you aren’t. You get sucked into a relationship that does not have a future.
You can’t get anyone to commit to you if they don’t want to. It’s like asking a delinquent in school to study for exams. They just won’t do it, and even if you force them to, you won’t get the result you want. That also kinda explains why a man or woman moved on from someone they really loved, and refused to marry, only to go to marry one or two or three lovers after. Maybe it’s because they just went with who was there when they were in the mood to be committed?
Instead of focusing on how the other person feels, and trying to change his (her) attitude to commitment, you need to focus on how you feel and change your approach. I’m not suggesting that you ‘love with your head’. I am simply suggesting that you use it.
I’m going through this right now. Got a man I love, and who I knows cares deeply for me. However, he has his issues about commitment, and is going through his own process because he wants to be sure that he’s absolutely ready to give a relationship with me a proper try. I appreciate the fact that he wants to be sure he’s ready to commit, and I’m leaving him to his process. However, I know I won’t wait forever.
Nagging a man is the best way to get the opposite of what you want. If you think he’s a great guy, but perhaps a little confused about what he wants in life right now, leave him to go through his process of self-exploration. Don’t force him or give an ultimatum. Give yourself an ultimatum, and know when to exit the room, if you figure the wait for him will be too long. You don’t have to stop being friends, but draw your boundaries and be upfront with him. Let him know that if he doesn’t know what he wants, then you will need to take your own measures to safeguard your heart. If he cares about you, he’ll respect your decision. It may also be a trigger that lets him know that he has to make a decision, without you handing out some sort of draconian ultimatum.
If you decide to accept whatever crumbs someone hands you, be prepared to be disappointed. Don’t play the casual game with someone you have deep feelings for either. Some men are just way too charming to keep your guard up from them. Don’t think he’ll change his skin one day, and become a new man, who suddenly becomes devoted to you either. If you want to feel emotionally safe or satisfied. don’t try to force feelings on someone else. Force yourself to accept reality.
If a man’s history tells you he’s not the committing kind, he’s emotionally unavailable, and shows that he doesn’t truly consider your needs, most likely he’s not worth the emotional investment.
You shouldn’t have to go on a personal PR campaign to get someone to want to be with you. It’s either they want to or they don’t. Accept it for what it is. You can’t or shouldn’t force a man to be in a serious relationship or to marry you. If you ‘succeed’, doh vex when yuh getting ‘horn’. Your chances of a great relationship are better, when the other person voluntarily wants to be with you.

Trying to get a man who doesn’t want to be in a relationship… to be in a relationship… is like trying to fit a rhinoceros through a mouse-hole. So why do girls keep trying to do it?

If a man doesn’t want to be committed to you, why try to force him? Oh, and note the difference between him wanting to be with you, and him wanting to commit to you. Women like to hate on men who just want some booty or to have some fun. Can you really blame them if you’re a hottie and want to ‘get some’? They have needs. Like dogs… they like to hump. Ok men… I’ll be nice.

Seriously though. Some men are very upfront about they willingness or unwillingness to commit. They might tell you they like you. They may lime with you often. They may even ‘run up’ their phone bill, talking to you. You’re convinced they like you, and you’re probably right. They do like you.


However, when someone – man or woman – doesn’t want to commit to an exclusive relationship, like and love don’t have as much say as we think. Love is not always as strong a force as gravity to make sure that they have no choice but to plant their feet firmly on the ground next to you.

“Note the difference between him wanting to be with you, and him wanting to commit to you.”

Let’s look at the potential for a couple moving from a steady relationship to marriage. Most girls treat almost every guy they date as prospective husband material. They’re more smitten with the idea of marriage than with wanting to marry someone because they’re smitten by the person. Guys, on the other hand, know the type of woman they want to marry, and so they keep having fun, or move through several ‘serious’ relationships until they find ‘that’ person.

Fact is… some men don’t believe in marriage – especially if they came from a broken home. Psychologists see a clear relationship between commitment phobia, and a traumatic childhood. Studies show that people who suffer from commitment phobia are deeply influenced by their childhood experiences that have seared their subconscious minds and given birth to such unrealistic fears. These include the death of a parent, a messy divorce, or parental abuse. In their minds, avoiding long-term, ‘serious’ relationships prevents any chance of being hurt.

Commitment-phobic people are easy to spot. They have short-lived relationships, wear their scars from previous relationships on their sleeve, date ‘unavailable’ people (who are ‘committed’ to someone else), back out of plans at the last minute, or are ‘hot’ one day, and ‘cold’ the next. Then of course, there’s them being straightforward, and saying, “I’ve been hurt in the past and I’m afraid to get hurt again”. Pussies… that’s what they are. Once you’ve made it through one really bad heartbreak, you can survive another. Anyway… I digress.

“For a man, a relationship is sort of like a responsibility.”

For a man, a relationship is sort of like a responsibility. He has a responsibility to be faithful. He has a responsibility to call you when he’ll be home late. He has a responsibility to be supportive. Now, of course that’s the ideal situation. However, there are some men who will only take up that responsibility for a woman who they feel deserves that respect. Then there are men who will waste your time. You think you’re heading somewhere, but you aren’t. You get sucked into a relationship that does not have a future.

You can’t get anyone to commit to you if they don’t want to. It’s like asking a delinquent in school to study for exams. They just won’t do it, and even if you force them to, you won’t get the result you want. That also kinda explains why a man or woman moved on from someone they really loved, and refused to marry, only to go to marry one or two or three lovers after. Maybe it’s because they just went with who was there when they were in the mood to be committed?

Instead of focusing on how the other person feels, and trying to change his (her) attitude to commitment, you need to focus on how you feel and change your approach. I’m not suggesting that you ‘love with your head’. I am simply suggesting that you use it.

I’m going through this right now. Got a man I love, and who I knows cares deeply for me. However, he has his issues about commitment, and is going through his own process because he wants to be sure that he’s absolutely ready to give a relationship with me a proper try. I appreciate the fact that he wants to be sure he’s ready to commit, and I’m leaving him to his process. However, I know I won’t wait forever.

Nagging a man is the best way to get the opposite of what you want. If you think he’s a great guy, but perhaps a little confused about what he wants in life right now, leave him to go through his process of self-exploration. Don’t force him or give an ultimatum. Give yourself an ultimatum, and know when to exit the room, if you figure the wait for him will be too long. You don’t have to stop being friends, but draw your boundaries and be upfront with him. Let him know that if he doesn’t know what he wants, then you will need to take your own measures to safeguard your heart. If he cares about you, he’ll respect your decision. It may also be a trigger that lets him know that he has to make a decision, without you handing out some sort of draconian ultimatum.

If you decide to accept whatever crumbs someone hands you, be prepared to be disappointed. Don’t play the casual game with someone you have deep feelings for either. Some men are just way too charming to keep your guard up from them. Don’t think he’ll change his skin one day, and become a new man, who suddenly becomes devoted to you either. If you want to feel emotionally safe or satisfied. don’t try to force feelings on someone else. Force yourself to accept reality.

If a man’s history tells you he’s not the committing kind, he’s emotionally unavailable, and shows that he doesn’t truly consider your needs, most likely he’s not worth the emotional investment.

You shouldn’t have to go on a personal PR campaign to get someone to want to be with you. It’s either they want to or they don’t. Accept it for what it is. You can’t or shouldn’t force a man to be in a serious relationship or to marry you. If you ‘succeed’, doh vex when yuh getting ‘horn’. Your chances of a great relationship are better, when the other person voluntarily wants to be with you.

 

47 Comments

  1. v

    September 3, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Commitment phobic men actually pursue commitment, until they get it. So this article is very bad. It shows the writer has no clue about this type of man and it does not help a woman involved with one. My phobic boyfriend of 36 told me he wanted to live with me, marry and have kids before he turned 40, he was in love with me and showed it. I was still unsure. Until I agreed. Then voilá! he dumped me within 3 months.
    So your “It’s either they want to or they don’t” advice is really lame.

    • hilary

      January 25, 2013 at 6:04 am

      THANK YOU. I agree. It’s an opinion piece.

      • sadiesays

        June 4, 2014 at 9:01 pm

        Yes, I agree too. I had a bf who called me, texted me, wrote long romantic love letters, told me everyday how in love he was with me for 2 years, then moved across country to be with me, looked at houses online, picked out furniture, told everyone we were settling down together, I knew his family, everything. (I should add that we were longtime old friends and have a large community of people that we share, so it wasn’t just a blind long distance thing.)
        Then one day after he had moved in with me and we were making plans to find a bigger place, the subject of marriage came up. He floundered, said he had never thought of it, and boom, 3 months later he left me, moved to another city and wouldn’t speak to me again for nearly a year. No more letters, no more love, like a stranger.
        I asked him to come to just one hour of counseling to try and figure this out or to make it easier for me to let go. He wouldn’t even honor me with one friggin hour. It was shattering, to say the least. I was a really good gf, I have learned how to be open and give room for guys to be happy, have my own life etc. I seriously did everything right, even he admitted that at some point.
        I have been in therapy and am now on anti-depressants to deal with what happened. We are speaking again (I know, why talk to this ass, but I am attached :( ) and the way he sees it, it’s normal, people break up,
        but I see it as:
        I wasn’t some girl you dated for a few months, you asked me to leave my home, everything to move away with you, I was faithful in a ld relationship where we only saw eachother once a month for 2 years, turned down other dates from men during that time and now, all of a sudden you leave me?! It was unreal. Even my gf’s who are single say they are traumatized by what happened. I feel sort of ruined, like I will have a hard time finding someone I can trust. It is a clear case of a commitment phobe having things easy and then when it came time to make his fantasy real (he asked for all of the future together, spend-my-life-with you stuff) suddenly he feels smothered and I’m too needy. I have to add, he had trouble finding a job when he got here, which can put a lot of strain, but when he said I was too needy it really killed me. I was taking care of him! And I’m the needy one. I feel like I have hurt myself grieving for an entire year over this, but he really kind of shattered me. I know now to trust the red flags and get out asap.
        ** And one more thing, though I never really this until now, if your guy asks you to move in together, say you will consider it when you both feel ready for an engagement, that is what you need to agree to such a thing. I know it’s hard and you don’t want to risk losing him, but weed out the fakers before you go through what I did.

        • Jessica

          March 22, 2016 at 2:03 pm

          Awe, I know how you feel. I went through a similar situation and now I feel like it will be very very difficult for me to trust another man again. I realized that I can do better and that I will not ignore red flags ever again. Keep your head up, I’m sure you will meet someone amazing if you haven’t already.

    • D.

      August 6, 2015 at 4:23 am

      V,

      You are correct. My guy did the same thing.

  2. Girlygirl

    October 14, 2011 at 7:14 am

    To “mmmmm”…I feel for you, been there! Seems I attract these types of men like the plague; though I am getting better at identifying them and telling them to hit the road before they do their destruction on my heart. In short..I think all men are some type of commitmentphobe; even if you DON’T chase, which I never have, or give them space, etc. most of them do not know what they want. The main point is to keep yourself on top of your own world and protect yourself. I had a friend who had a guy who she dated for about 2 years until he proposed with a huge diamond ring…he treated her like GOLD, until they got married. On their honeymoon in Hawaii he became a SOB and told her she “tricked” him into marrying her!! When in fact, he pursued her like crazy! He pushed her down and stomped on her bare foot! THAT is the kind of crap these types of guys give out! A really good book is “Men Who Can’t Love”. Total eye opener.

    In any event, I feel this article is right on….good advice. Keep your heart guarded, at all times.

    • tracy

      May 8, 2013 at 10:12 am

      He must have been muslim same thing happened to me. All muslim men treat you like gold until they marry you.

      • TiredofBeingTired

        May 26, 2014 at 6:28 pm

        I just wanted to share that I just found this article. I find its content to be true. I have been married to a commitment phobic man for 10 years and each year I thought things would get better; he would share his affections with me and that he and I would work together in building our family. Well 10 years later, he hasn’t kept a steady job, he’s withdrawn and oddly enough has began a church in secret. We’ve recently seperated. I’m glad I came across your article. It’s real and to the point. Thank you for being candid. I now know there’s nothing I can do to change this man and I refuse to give him another year of my life.

  3. Audrey

    October 31, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Hello,

    my situation is basically very simple but very hard to adapt.. He likes me and i like him.. we both want to be together.. ive had bad pass experiences and im moving on from that and trying to make this work and putting my 120%. I decided to leave him several times and didnt work.. he almost begged me to stay… well he did.

    He said he would try and work this and he does treat me like his gf but sometimes he doesnt.. i was ready to let go of everything until he expressed himself and told me he was “fraid to get hurt’. anywayssss im not here to change him … you know what i mean but if he really doesnt want to let go of me.. and hes willing to try and make this work.. then i dont know…

    plz help me!! lol

  4. nic

    January 16, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    face it they just want to have their cake and eat it too. avoid like the plague.

  5. was 613

    August 21, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Just happened to me…he calls me everyday..text me every time he had his meals…when he got home or about to sleep…we have wonderful dates…then after a week of having a relationship…he became cold and told me he was still in love with his ex…grrrrr!!! yet he still text me everyday…i dont know what he is up to???

  6. alyssa

    September 10, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Just found this blog..I’m a 21 year old women, and have been “talking” or seeing this guy (who
    I have known since high school) for a good amount of months now. We
    went on our first official date back in mid-March. He talked about
    eventually maybe dating and becoming ‘official’ and all those things. We
    have slept together, I have met his family and go over to watch movies
    all the time at his home, I spent the day with him, his mother and
    grandmother on his birthday, and felt like we were ‘getting there’.
    Really. Even for my birthday I have always wanted to go on a cruise so
    me and him booked a cruise for mid-December and be back before Christmas
    still. When we first started talked he had mentioned he is scared of
    getting hurt, since his last official relationship he was in she cheated
    on him. However, tonight after we watched “Think Like A Man” together
    he wanted to talk to me about something. Thinking he was actually going
    to ask if I want to make things official or something along those
    lines…it was the opposite. He went on about making sure that I know we
    are just talking and aren’t dating or anything. But he loves hanging
    out with me and talking to me and loves the sex and doesn’t want to
    change what we’re doing but just wants to focus on working and just
    wanted to make sure we’re on the same page as far as where we stand and
    that he still will and wants to go on the cruise with me. Which one of
    the things I followed his statements by was that I don’t want to be a
    string-a-long girl, where he basically uses me while looking for someone
    else/better. I feel like I am what a guy would want. I watch ESPN and
    sports with him, play video games with him(fifa, nba jams, etc), I don’t
    whine and make him always take me places..I’m content just hanging out
    and watching TV. When I asked if we’re still talking he said yes and
    that he isn’t talking to any other girls the way he is with me, or
    having sex with anyone else, or doing things with other girls that he
    does with me. So what do you feel is the problem of why he really
    doesn’t want to make it official and seems like he’s pulling back, and
    where should I go from here? PLEASE HELP! What would you all do? And any
    advice from guys on what’s going on would be helpful!

    Additional Details

    PS he has an older brother and sister that he’s close with…told his
    brother were intimate even. And he talks to his sister a lot I know as
    well. But whenever his brother is around, so is he. Unless sometimes
    when he goes in the shower and me and his brother are just watching tv
    together (doesn’t happen too too often). And again his sister lives far.
    Also know his best friend. Do you think I should maybe message one of
    them (fb) and ask them to keep me asking between us please but ask
    them….something?? Idk

    • tracy

      May 8, 2013 at 10:23 am

      He is treating you like a girlfriend and being unfair to your feelings. You can keep talking to him but you had better date other men on the sly. He is being shifty and in the long run that can be alot of wasted time and hurt. I just realized that unless you both make it official men can keep talking and doing things with a girl just like a relationship and not even want to be your boyfriend ever. And the longer you keep it going unofficially the harder it will be to change or get out. BUT if you have a committment relationship talk with him be prepared for things to change either for the better or the worse and you may lose his friendship. Men do not like relationship talks.
      My advice keep seeing him as you probably have grown to have feelings but ease off do not see him as much, etc. But then he may start seing other women if you leave the door too far open. You have no choice but to speak with him, indirectly then

  7. cliff

    September 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Ok but what about when its the reverse, I’m with a woman who is divorced has two amazing kids that I love like my own. Its been 4 years now that her and I have been dating and she still won’t tell the kids about us or her ex. I’m only there over night when the kids are not and when ever I tell her I want to move forward she gives me this bull about not being sure about “us”… I love her wholely, want to be a father to her children and have more kids, but she just won’t budge. I’m her dirty secret. I thought woman were suppose to be the ones doing the chasing. 4 years and all I am is 2 bins in her closet hidden and tucked away when the kids come home. I want to open with the world about us but she just won’t budge. So just a side note here. Its not always men who are commitment phobic

  8. lo0

    November 4, 2012 at 9:29 am

    awesome article, being a guy, it made me understand what i want from life…

  9. Mark

    January 1, 2013 at 11:05 am

    i am a straight man that would very much want to commit again, especially after being married and my wife was the one that cheated. now single again, it is very hard for me to meet another woman that can be faithful.

    • anonymous

      October 5, 2015 at 9:29 pm

      I sure wish my “boyfriend” would commit. I am faithful, attractive. Just don’t understand him.

  10. tracy

    May 8, 2013 at 10:13 am

    I am dating a committment phobic guy now, most charming man on earth, handsome, rich, nice dresser, smells nice, very well groomed, totally perfect but as soon as I try to get close and talk my feelings he gets cold.

    • Amber

      July 10, 2013 at 10:42 pm

      I’m dating someone exactly like your man. I feel you

      • dikly

        February 7, 2014 at 9:57 pm

        M dating exactly the same man. He loves n really takes care of my feelings. He wouldn’t dump or ditch me ever would rather want me to be the one ending the relationship whenever I fee like. But I want us to be married n he calls marriage a disaster. He believes marriage would kill our love. I love him n I love him a lot. But it kills me to think that we don’t have a future together n my going out of his life wouldn’t bother him. I cry a lot because I don’t know if I should let go or keep on trying.

        • Hardev Sra

          January 20, 2016 at 5:46 am

          Hi Dikly, Any update on the situation? I find myself in the same situation as yours (I’m a male though). Don’t know if I should just walk away or try harder…

  11. Guest3

    July 24, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    I am going through a similar issue. I have been dating a guy for 5 years. We have a great relationship, we love and care about each other deeply and are perfect for each other. We have talked about the future before but never too seriously as we are both 25 and neither of us our ready to settle down and get married right now. Recently, our friends have started to get engaged and he has been starting to pull away. Last week he lied to me about making plans with another girl when I was going to be out of town even though he says it was platonic and he would never cheat on me. He then admitted to me he was having doubts about being with one person for the rest of his life, even though I have put NO pressure on him whatsoever to get married, settle down etc. He says he needs time to figure out what he wants, but he also says he wants to be with me and loves me. We have spent a few days apart and after this time apart he says he wants to do whatever it takes to be with me and work out his issues, but when we spent time back together he changes his mind and says he doesn’t know what he wants and is confused. He is from a broken home and a very very bad divorce, which I’m sure has a lot to do with his issues, but I have known this and thought he was able to over come these issues, as I don’t believe you can use these issues as a crutch for your problems for the rest of your life.

    I am so confused because he seems to be flip flopping around with what he is telling me, and I’m scared that if I stay with him while he gets help for his issues I will just end up hurt or this will happen again in the future. I am also worried that if I give him time and space, he will come back to me and I don’t know if I am prepared to take him back or wait around for him to decide if he wants to be with me. I feel like if he knows that he should already know.

    HELP!

  12. cookies2390

    January 15, 2014 at 4:08 am

    my ex and I broke up four months ago, we were together for almost two years. & till this day i still love that guy, i found out that the reason why he broke up with me was because he felt pressured to be someone else he didnt want to be commited and instead have freedom without letting no one know what he was doing. He loves me but like they say love sometimes is not to strong to win, he doesnt want to be in a lockdown position or promise someone forever. He neither doesnt wanna be in a relationship with other girls.Hes a great guy but he still needs to figure out what he wants in life. I love him but its just hard not to know wether to move on or see if he realizes that he lost a good girl and talk back to me again

  13. Lynda

    February 28, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    I had a huge bust up with my partner and he left me, i was so frustrated and i email Dr. Stanley and he said he could help, I must admit, I was very, very skeptical as didn’t really believe he would be back after all he said, but it was just a few days when he phoned and asked to come over to talk, we talked and talked and the silly misunderstanding was all forgiven and we are back together now for good, all thanks to drstanleyspelltemple@hotmail.com, I would highly recommend his services, they do really, really work. Lynda.

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    April 18, 2014 at 10:45 pm

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    May 29, 2014 at 10:02 am

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  16. Zoya

    June 3, 2014 at 8:44 am

    Hi. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. He says he loves me, I know he does, but becomes extremely strange as soon as anything “forever”/”in future” comes up. I know I shouldn’t do it but at times just to let him know clearly how I see things, I do tell him that I would want to live with him. And that moment, he acts SO selfish that at times I’m just stunned. He says things like,”you have increased your expectations from me and that’s your problem, not mine”, “I can’t help with the way you think.” I just don’t know what I should do. I have been in many relationships before and hence I know this one is different, atleast for me. But I’m so scared that after all the efforts, all the love, tomorrow I might be nowhere. Forget about tomorrow, at the present I don’t know whether I should entertain his selfish attitude. He doesn’t understand my emotional needs or maybe I too don’t, won’t put the entire blame on him. But I’m just so screwed up.
    Ps: we have been in a long distance relationship from the start, however there’s no trust issues here. I’m very close to his family too. Everything is just awesome BUT for him. Please help :(

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  18. Rachel

    February 4, 2015 at 3:45 am

    Hello

    I’m a ‘commitment phobic’ woman in my mid-twenties. I found this because I was looking for help in committing to my best friend and love of two years. When it gets serious I panic and I have other options so that gives me cause for confusion, but he’s the best guy I know and I want to be with him. I’m just scared of losing so many other possibilities and of never having that new love feeling. My friends all think I’m crazy and are being v helpful in talking me around.

    To the girl above who plays video games with her guy and does everything perfectly… The way things are going it will never happen. It’s not that you’re not lovely but… Men have an idea in their head of the woman they want to marry/be serious about and it’s generally both traditional and feminine. You need to challenge him- blow a little hot and cold, ignore him every now and then and when you’re being nice try baking for him (ideally in a revealing apron). Give him a kiss and tell him he’s your hero. Do something a little bit seductive but then disappear for a bit and force him to persue you. All he’ll be thinking about is you. Do not be his female guy friend/on-call sex buddy, it will get you nowhere. Maybe have a night out together and dress in a way that is both classy and flattering. Let him see you as a desirable woman he has to fight a bit for.

    Good luck ladies!

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  22. jennifer

    May 27, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Hello am Jeniffer from usa i just wanna thank Prophet suleman for what he has done for me at first i taught he was scam but until i just decided to follow my mind.i told him that my ex lover which i loved with all my heart left me for another all Prophet suleman did was to laugh and said he will be back to me in 3days time i taught he was lying on the 3rd day my ex called me and said he wanna see me,i was shocked then he came over to my place and started begging that he was bewitched,immediately i forgives him and now we are back and he his really madly in love with me.All thanks to Prophet suleman he indeed wonderful incise you wanna contact him here his is private mail prophetsuleman@hotmail.com ……………….. jennifer

  23. Anonymous

    July 8, 2015 at 12:51 am

    “Then of course, there’s them being straightforward, and saying, “I’ve been hurt in the past and I’m afraid to get hurt again”. Pussies… that’s what they are. Once you’ve made it through one really bad heartbreak, you can survive another. Anyway… I digress.”

    Wow, you are one cold hearted cunt. You do know that men have feelings, right? Some go into a depression for months after a breakup, some contemplate suicide, some commit suicide. Ususally after the 3rd or 4th time they give the world to an ignorant, ungrateful bitch like you who was just waiting for someone better to come along. Granted, men like these have underlying issues such as low self esteem that make things like rejection a way bigger deal than it should be, but how can you be sure that someone doesnt have any issues. Many can feign confidence, and they must do a pretty good job if they got you to date them in the first place. Any man that is fine after a breakup, is insenitive and didnt give a shit about you anyway, if this has been your experience, maybe you should change your taste in men. Men who choose to never get attached are smart, they know that they will never get hurt again, and they shouldn’t be shamed for wanting sex and not a relationship, or rather needing sex.

  24. Robert Alonso W

    July 25, 2015 at 4:14 am

    If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Obudun Magonata it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Obudun Magonata was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. \He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives. Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is spiritsofobudunmagonata ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com ///

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  26. Gelina Mattson

    September 10, 2015 at 12:38 am

    We all have different reasons why those of us who contacted Akpe Osilama to help us make our faithful to us some of us did it for lover, because of their children or health condition or even because they wanted not to be alone. For me it was non of those though i love my husband and don’t want to raise our teens alone . The reason why i contacted Akpe Osilama to help me with a spell truly was because my husband was running for one of the seats in the Riksdag,the national legislative body of Sweden. Now i am not going to say if he won or under what party for security reasons i did not ask for a spell to make him win or something NO i just asked for a spell to make him stop being a chronic Womanizer it was going to affect his campaign. I have lived with him for 20 years and after countless occasions of catching him cheating on me i have come to live with him like that though it hurts to death. I wish i knew all along all those years about Akpe the Great spell caster maybe my life would not have been this way. Like i was saying, His womanizing behavior got him into a lot of trouble and if any of those stories where to hit the press it would have destroyed his life and this political career and probably landed him in jail. With all the advise from me and his advisories of his campaigning team it was still not enough to bring him to caution. I went to the extreme to make sure he stops willingly or unwillingly that is i meant with some of his lover and asked to pay them off but they were not ready to let go it. I think he offered them something more that money that even with the amount i offered them, they all refused and believe me it was very surprising and they will turn down a large amount of money. We my husband got to know about it he mad mad at me and gave all sort of threats. I was confused and his opposition were digging to find dirt on him and still was so convinced that they will not find anything but they did only with no evidence that was how lucky we were. Right then i took matters in my hand and contacted Akpe Osilama with the email address i saw on the internet i contacted him and told him what i want him to do for me to make my husband be faithful to me till our dying day and make all those people looking for how to bring down my husband stop. OK note my husband is a very honest man who would not hurt a fly he was just careless and always picked the wrong kinds of woman that get him in trouble. Akpe Osilama asked that i provide 4 kind of item me being so careful employed expert to help me get those materials mailed them over to him. I sent a total some of 3000 dollars when converting from Swedish Krona to American dollars. And it much much cheaper if i had asked him to get them for me. But whats done is done. Just after four day sent me a package, not telling its content but is totally harmless and told me how to make the spell effective. I did as he told me and in two my husband somehow magically broke tires with all the women he was involved with i don’t know how it happen and those people trying to kill his political ambition stopped immediately. I wish i knew this Great man all along my life would have been perfect. His campaign team did not understand how i did it and what i did they were just happy all the worse is past. What wow me the most about Akpe Osilama was that he told me the out come of the election before the election date last year because all this happened last year and just what he said will happen really came to pass. And again i can’t give full info because of security reasons. I little advise for those that are going to contact him via this email (chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast@ (yahoo). com) rewrite to usual email format if you are asked for material to do the spell don’t go about it yourself Because you will waste a lot time and money on it and get to see asking him to get them for you with the total cost you wire to him will save you a lot. You have nothing be be afraid you can trust him with anything Because all he does is help people no matter how hard it may be.

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  28. Louise Damen

    September 19, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    How to restore a failing relationship Unlike the movies we see, every relationship will not always been happy forever. Something or factors are always there to drop the relationship you have given all. It may be due to dishonesty, failing to funding, lack of understanding, the requirement of unemployment and so on. It will take more than a lot to save a relationship failing to take i’ve been there. Now I know some ways that can help restore a failing relationship that will work, it forms the background to the latest high ultimate way I know. Understanding: Understanding is a way to restore a default relationship.But as easy as it sounds, it is the most difficult task accomplish.Why is it? let see. In a relationship is like to be that person who has never heard as he or she does not exist. Men feel like everything he says or does is just because they are men and they think they need to be still in charge because men are heard and women feel like they have need to be heard and their opinion counts a lot. If the two can not balance this, I see no hope for this relationship because after so many struggles resulting from misunderstandings they call the end. Stable finances: This is especially for men. It is important to have a stable finance, because a lot of bad things can happen due to financial difficulties. Even if your spouse choose to stay with you through troubled times, you can see that the default and before you know little things and talk about money leads to fight and as you know the relationship falls. But stable finances can restore a failing relationship in a measure before some other factors plans. Couple Counseling: This for a very long time is the last point of almost all couples before the final relationship fall.Here terminal are either restored or destroyed.Couple Council recorded a large amount of success over the years, but does not guarantee that the relationship will remain strong for long time.Studies show that most relationships recorded by the board experienced a positive change for up to 3-5 years before failing again and some even comes experienced no change. I’m not saying couples therapy does not work I simply say, it does not really guarantee a lasting relationship. D’Amour spell: For me, this is the only way that you and someone you love will always be, as they have promised you. My marriage had its largest penalty the board, understanding and all the things I wrote above, and the only thing that worked for me was the Ajayi Ololo fate did for me. It was the only help I seeked that actually worked for me which is why I say is the Ultimate.My friend who advised me to contact a spell caster remained married to her husband for ten years and some months now because of love Ajayi Ololo fate of her.I can not speak of my own because its just been two months .I you want to save your relationship Contact your roulette with this email ajayiololo @ (yahoo). com. Warning: use this email in the regular mail format

  29. Mariana

    September 26, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    I was with my ex for 3 years n 6mthns n he cheated on me so we split, before he left me, we were planing to get married in the future, I loved him so much but I became tired of him lying to me every time he opens his mouth, I went into search for help in the internet, I tried many different spells from almost every place locally as well as online and none of them worked, I almost gave up hope because I thought i will never see my lover again forever, one day i saw some testimony about this powerful spell caster Great zula i emailed him and i asked him to help me bring back my lover and he did A Lover Spell for me And after some days, my lover returned back to me I’d like to say that i got a positive result from (greatzula@yahoo.com) ever since i used his love spell, my lover have learned to appreciate me more and more day by day, and he doesn’t take me for granted,

    Mariana Charles.

  30. Susan Kelvin

    October 10, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    My name is Susan Kelvin from indonesia
    i want to testify about a great spell caster that help me cast a spell that bring back my husband back to me without any delay. I broke up with him with just little misunderstanding hoping we will get back shortly,but things was growing worse until i contacted Dr. Manbela who help me with his historical powers to bring him back, i have never believed in a spell caster until i come across him, it will be of great sin if i should go out from here without dropping the contact of this great spell caster, in case you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him through his email: once you contact him all your problems will be over ,once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to recover my husband back, and please sir keep your good work because people need your help and in their lives ,once more thank you Dr Manbela

    Have a good day.

    contact him via; manbelaspelltemple at gmail. com.

  31. Susan Kelvin

    October 10, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    My name is Susan Kelvin from indonesia
    i want to testify about a great spell caster that help me cast a spell that bring back my husband back to me without any delay. I broke up with him with just little misunderstanding hoping we will get back shortly,but things was growing worse until i contacted Dr. Manbela who help me with his historical powers to bring him back, i have never believed in a spell caster until i come across him, it will be of great sin if i should go out from here without dropping the contact of this great spell caster, in case you need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him through his email: once you contact him all your problems will be over ,once again i say very big thanks to you sir for helping me to recover my husband back, and please sir keep your good work because people need your help and in their lives ,once more thank you Dr Manbela

    Have a good day.

    contact him via; manbelaspelltemple@gmail. com.

  32. Allen Maria

    October 12, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Anyone who has been in an off and on relationship can tell how frustrating it is. Most especially when you love them so much like they know you so well to know that no matter the circumstance in which the break up is based on, you are always gonna make up and start from a fresh page with them. Almost like you can not do without them and your life revolves round them which is literally speaking true. My relationship with my boyfriend was one such off and on thing only that he was the one who constantly kept breaking my heart and each time i kept crawling back to him like i had no life aside from that i shared with him. We started dating backing in 2010 and from 2010 to late 2013 he played with my heart knowing i was always gonna come back to him. He knew he could break up with me to date other guys he feels like and at the end of the day come back asking for a second chance and believe me it was always a second chance to me. It was either he wants to date another guys or he’s telling me that he is not sure he can be in a relationship with apparently cos he needed to find out what he wants in life and discover who he is. Most people asked why didn’t i just move on and find someone who was more worthy of my love. Yes i should have done just that but i can give a thousand reason why i always go back to him at the end of this entire text it will fall back to this that “I LOVE HIM WITH MY LIFE”. I could not see my whole life without him in it so basically i was a fool in love. No matter how i convince myself to hate him and make him suffer for all he did to me it was impossible for me to accomplish. It was like he had something over him that always drew me back to him no matter what the condition might be. I was in pain. It hurt me down to my soul hat he was so indecisive about what he wanted for us all those time. For about 2 years and 8 months i was literally his bitch that he does what he like to and dispose. I really didn’t know if he did all he did on purpose or f it was as a result of his indecisive nature. What ever it was i didn’t like cos all i wanted was to spend the rest of my life with him. Blame me or don’t on the basis of stupidity what’s done is done i contacted a spell caster to help get him in the path i wanted for us. I did this early this year. I was not going to say anything until i was sure that what Akpe Osilama did was for real. I was not going to start misleading people to do what does not exist. I can tell you without now doubt that the spell worked for me and also i have seen a couple of comment Online about Akpe Osilama it is obvious that all he does is make people lives better in every way and bring people out from what ever hellhole they where in. I should tell you that he is one of the only few if not the only one true spell caster that can help you out in any condition. Not cos i saw a couple of comments Online like that of Nicholas Zachary but because all these comments were written by real life people who have gone and seen the authenticity of Akpe Osilama. I asked Akpe Osilama to put my boyfriend in the right path i wanted for the two of us, to help kill that indecisive nature he had in him to make him mine and mine only forever. You should all know he did just that for me and the spell he cast changed our lives in ways you can’t imagine and the best part is that he didn’t take i single pound from me. I only gave him something out of my discretion as a sign of gratefulness for what he did for me. However Akpe Osilama asked me to get some materials which we used for the spell casting process. I will be opened with you all at first, i thought he wanted to use the required materials as a medium to get money form me but it turned out that he made it clear to me that without those materials it will me impose to do any spell just like cooking without food stuff. Even then he told me to either get the materials to temple by myself or parcel it over to him or to send him the money to get the materials for me if i can’t find them. I had to send the money to him cos it was even more less expensive that way. You should also know he is trust worthy you can trust him with anything. Here is his personal contact got it Online when i contacted him thought i should also leave it here maybe for those who need to contact Akpe Osilama {chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast at yahoo dot com}

  33. Susan Witkowski

    November 2, 2015 at 11:08 am

    This comment i Susan is placing is not like the day by day advert you read online before!! Its a comment that you must read to avoid been ripped off and know the real spell caster on earth God sent to change and turn lives around without any harm / side effect.
    I am so over joyful as my month can not start to say all that really happened, It happened when i saw Ajayi advert online talking about been the best when there are so many spell casters online that i have used that has failed me.I spent almost close to $8000 dollars online for those spell casters that ripped me off my money without any result. But when i saw Dr Ajayi advert online saying that there is no spell caster like him and so many other testimonies about him from various people and from various countries in the world were it was written that ololo spell temple is the best that there is non to be compared to his work, Already i have personally take a decision never to apply to any spell caster online again after loosing such amount of funds on line to those scammers.But i don’t really know what drew my spirit / attention to that advert online that faithful afternoon, { I call it a faithful afternoon because all i desire was granted to me. } There was an email at the end of his advert and on the good comment from the FBI and various people about him, I decided to send him an email telling him my problem about my lost job, money that i have lost to scammers and also having problems with the love of my life that i want to get married to. After some few minutes i received an email from him that contain the spell application form that i filled out and he told me that to get my spell casted that i will have to get some items that i could not get here when i went in-search for it. He said if i can not get the items, That is going to cost me an amount of just $390 dollars for my kind of case that i told him about which i doubted to be another scam online, As i have read so many tips online that money should not be sent to someone you do not know via western union / money gram payment information’s. And Dr Ajayi insisted that i will be sending money to his messenger via this wire means. I was so skeptical because i was scammed in such a way of $700 dollars before,But this same spirits that attracted me to his advert told me inside again that this spell caster is real and noting but real that i should go ahead and send him the amount since i know that there is no how i can get the items that he told me that will be needed for my case. I sent him the charges through his messenger to please help me get the item with the money to get my spell casted.He promised me that in the next 5 to 7 hours that i will start to see results after the spell has been casted to get the love of my life back and others. I could not believe this because i have really been scammed and ripped off too many times for me to just believe till it works. To be sincere i almost faint as i was filled with so much excitement and happiness when my lost lover for over almost 9 months call was entering my phone and i picked the call were he ask if we can see to take things over and also my boss called me to tell me to come for training on my terminated job also due to too many thinking that in the office that result to it. Then in the next 2 days the FBI called to tell me that they have been able to get the scammer that is with my money. I am so proud and happy to spread the good-news about this man because he surprised me in his wonderful and powerfully work that restored back to me my heart desires. One thing that i also loved about this man is that he is understandable and he reduce or negotiate how much you can get for the work you want him to help you with. You want to meet with this great,most powerful spell caster that is 100% scam free,Just send your emails to this email: ajayiololo @ yahoo. com as you will get help from him without any disappointment. Correct to the normal way email address are written by adding the separations together.

  34. michele

    November 13, 2015 at 5:06 pm

    I never knew people still have powers and make things happen this way. My name is michele anduze am from danmark, my Ex husband tom jackson left me for another woman for 17 months ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love , A friend of mine Stephanie told me she saw some testimonies of this great prophet that he can bring back my lover within some few days, I laugh it out and said I am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, She consulted the great prophet on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 5 days my Ex Husband called me for the very first time again after 17 months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for everything he made me pass through. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you prophet john for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for anyone who might need the help of this great prophet here is the email address: holyprophrt8@gmail.com

  35. Douglas78

    April 14, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    MARRIAGE RESTORED! My wife pack out of the house with my kids and said she was no longer interested in me anymore. She said all the abusive words and said am not a good husband because I wasn’t working, instead I was wasting her time, so i contacted this Strong spell caster DR OLO’R’UN a week ago after reading Miracles about his spell over the net, I consulted him for a love spell, crying not knowing what to do. He told me that he will cast a lover spell for me so my wife will come back to me. After 4 days of casting the spell, my wife call me apologizing and begging me to come home. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good husband that I must forgive her for the bad things she had said. Am thanking DR OLO’R’UN for the Faith and Trust he showed me. if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him via email: OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUAL @ GMAIL. COM

  36. Natasha

    September 24, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    robinson.buckler(@)yahoo . com is a wonderful spell caster. Very trustworthy, My husband cheated on me for Almost for three years. he ignore me for several months and left me with nothing, but i am happy today that Robinson brought my husband back, I am so happy, Now my husband is all mine again. I can now say I’m happy again. Great spell from Robinson buckler, Robinson is genuine. I truly believe in him and his spells. he is a professional. I really enjoyed the result which i got, his love spell is marvelous, he is truly gifted, his love spell has brought me happiness, I am extremely pleased, it worked out to my taste, he has the most powerful love spell, I recommend his love spell to anyone who is ready to get his or her lover back

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