I’ve always preferred having male friends to female friends, and my reasons for doing so is because sometimes women are just unbearable – myself included.
Men are such simple creatures, and, while like the average housefly can be a source of much irritation, they are really easy to please. Sex, sleep, food, pride and money are the five main categories that we are working with in a man. Women… well we not that simple.
Fellas, you need to start looking beyond the obvious things that attract you to women and dig deeper. Yuh know… use de right head. Yes you single and you want ah smallie, but any relationship, regardless how casual, has the potential to become something more, and, with this in mind, you want to pick smart – just in case she tief yuh head.
Now ladies, some of you will get upset with me, but I am willing to accept that. You know me eh cater. As long as I can provoke thought, I have achieved my objective here. So here goes…
Breds, if the skirt too short and too much of the tut tuts outside – not she. Come nah. We grown. If yuh 16 to 18, even as far as 21, yuh allowed. You now discovering that legs are hot and we all know boobs are what all men dream of, so like yuhself. It’s these years that you can get away with making bad decisions. Now once you finish university or whatever it is yuh doing, and plug into the grown up network, that hadda stop.
No matter how good she looking in the party, a skimpy dress code is a clear indication that she still feels the need to use her physical prowess to get attention. That she is proud that she looks good and this trumps everything else she has to offer. She looking good on your arm, and when she performs her little wine back on you and your friends look on in awe, you know you’ve scored big time.
The same reason you buy a flashy car is the same reason you get a hot girl with all the thrills and frills. To like yuhself. Thing is, a hot flashy car has a much longer shelf life than a girl who dresses to reveal herself. The more serious your relationship gets, the more you want your woman to cover up her assets. Now I not saying that she has to dress like a nun eh! But before you, they were available. Any man who did and said the right thing would gain access. You are that guy. Why should she still be advertising? And what does this allude to?
As women we’re supposed to go through the teenaged/college days doing what we want. Then early twenties into late twenties, we start focusing on our career and life ahead. As we embark on that road to forever, we should adapt our lives and the way we live it to ensure we tick as many boxes on our life list. Husband, children, dream job, amazing group of friends and more.
Fellas, girls who dressing skimpy and wining on everybody in the party not so. There are girls who I went to university with ten years ago, who are still dressing and behaving the way they did back then and they are single. But men still bouncing dem hard and taking a small pips.
If a woman is not taking her life seriously, she not going to take you seriously. And there is an easy way to identify them. You want a woman to stand by you, put you first, encourage you in your endeavours, be the mother of your children, be your biggest fan, and, ultimately, be the person you trust the most.
So if when you meet her in the dance the first thing she going to do is show you her friend in the dark corner in the left and proceeds to tell you that the man married and his wife coming in de dance tonight to reclaim her spouse? Bacchanal? Yes. Entertainment? Of course. Loyalty? Negative. She just met you and is giving you all access to her BFF’s files over the second drink you bought her. She has a loose tongue. She will do the same to you. Fact.
Or what about the girl who tells her mother everything? Walk away. You don’t want a woman who is going to tell her mother all your stories – because that is what she is going to do.
What about the girl who gets along so well with your boys? Amazing right? To see her integrating with yuh bredren, talking sports, music and everything else? They done seeing her prance around in those short shorts, now her cool factor is going up due to her ability to be one of the boys. In this world where women can do what men do and superiority in this gender arena has reared its head in the war for equality, as men and women, we still need to know our place. Your friends cannot be her friends and her friends can’t be your friends. Everyone should coexist peacefully, but there are lines. And when these lines are crossed there are tears, bacchanal and shame.
So more than 800 words later, you might be asking, “Eng what yuh really saying?” Be smart. The right kind of woman must share things with you like hobbies, favourite type of food etc, but she should also have a certain level of class that makes her worth going through the paces of a relationship. If she not looking like someone you would take home to your mother, then why bother?
Check out the rest of this week’s issue (13/12/10; Issue 36):
- Dale Ramirez: Expanding our Tastes
- New Profile? Is Facebook taking Maco Central Too Far?
- Christmas Travel Tips for the Under-experienced Trini Flyer
- Missing in Action: Losing Friends to Parenthood
- Religion and Relationships: Golden Balls and Sexual Fantasies
Look out for a new issue of Outlish.com every Monday.
Join us at facebook.com/outlishmagazine