Finding yourself – How hard could it be?

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To say that we are all individuals is intuitive, but sometimes we lose that wonder of being individual. In a way, that is a part of the innocence that we have – the beauty of being. Unique and different. These are words that marketing has unwittingly crafted into something that is – oddly enough – used to make us purchase the same things. As if we are not individuals. As if we are not unique. As if each individual doesn’t have something of worth to contribute to society by virtue of being an individual.

We are told we are equal, but we are not. We are tall, we are short, we are of all hues, we are all backgrounds conceivable. In being told that we are equal, we forget the inequalities that pervade our society – and that we really should treat each other with the same respect that we adore from others. All too often people become what they hate.

Some are alone and afraid. Some rebel against the quiet of other defeated souls. Some resign themselves to the monotony of their being if only to allow themselves to exist, somehow, as a fragment of a greater whole and nothing more. Some smile all day and cry themselves to sleep tonight, some find salvation through accepting the religious and cultural standards of the day. Look at any teenager if you do not believe this, and know that adults are simply teenagers that survived puberty.

Finding one’s self has become iconic of cultures both of East and West. Yet when most people do find themselves, they keep looking because of disappointment created by the expectations of who they always thought they were – or would be. For many, the greatest fear is finding one’s self – the wonderful and the hellish, swirled like so much ice cream mixed with molten lava.

We are beautiful. We are ugly. We are.

Couples are made up of individuals who were found by other people. Singles are people who may or may not have been found by other people and may or may not have yet found themselves. But if you’re single and you’re lucky, you’ve found yourself. If you’re a part of a couple, you better hope that the other person likes what they find – or you better find yourself so it’s easier being single. If you’re part of a good couple, you might be lucky enough to find out more about yourself. If you’re single, doubly so.

And, in case some of you are wondering, the trouble with finding one’s self isn’t the actual ‘finding’. It’s figuring out what comes next. And most people, in fear of figuring out what comes next, keep trying to find themselves in the hope that they’ll find something that they like better than what they have found. And then there are the people who desperately want someone to find them despite their inability to find or recognize themselves when they find themselves.

You are ugly. You are beautiful. You are. The question is, “have you found yourself?”


Image credit: gutter.


Karel Mc Intosh

Karel Mc Intosh is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Outlish Magazine. She's also the Lead Communications Trainer at Livewired Group, where she conducts workshops in business writing, social media, and other communications areas. A real online junkie, when she isn't surfing the Internet, she's thinking about surfing the Internet. Find out more about her here or tweet her @outlishmagazine.

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