Current Affairs and the Trini Love Life

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With all the complaints about the State of Emergency (SOE) in T&T, it seems that one of the most important issues is being overlooked. I mean, yes, we’re all worried about the crime and the potential of police and army to act like Gadaffi thugs and brutalize the average citizen (we doh care bout de bandits and murderers; dem look for it), but we’re forgetting one thing. Some people are under real love lockdown.
Now we can accept that our Government needs to do something to keep the criminals in check, and despite the mass panicking, and the cries from the family overseas that “they didn’t know Trini get so bad”, we are pretty much co-operating and allowing our lives to be guided by the SOE. And as much as we cannot do what seems to come naturally to us, such as partying and liming, we still need to save our love lives from extinction. After all, love makes the world go around (or is that money; I can never remember).
State of Relationships
Let’s breathe a sigh of relief, because this state of emergency means goodbye to that potent relationship-killer we call nagging. I genuinely sympathize with people whose significant other always calls in the middle of a lime with, “Where yuh? What time yuh coming home? You always liming eh”. Well during the SOE, these questions are no longer needed.
Your boo knows that unless you’re a criminal, gang member or delinquent, at 8.59 p.m., you will be in your house. And in a case where your babes is a limer, this SOE leaves time for some serious bonding (or bondage time, depending on your preference), so buss out the Kama Sutra manual and de handcuffs. Now whatever you do, be safe eh people, and if you know you’re not ready to be renamed Mommy or Daddy, try yuh bess not to be among the folks who going to make a baby boom, nine months from now, a definite possibility.
In addition to saving your love life, this SOE can also save you a lil money. Instead of constantly eating out at fancy restaurants or ordering take-out for dinner (KFC delivery shutting off 6 p.m. in hot spots eh), we get to save money, increase our cooking experience, and look romantic while doing it (bring out de ten-dollar candles!)..
And for those that are in a relationship, but are trying to get your partner to take it to the next level, take advantage of “state of emergency sleepovers”. Need I say more? No? Okay I won’t.
State of Singleness
For the people who are single, and it looking this curfew can put a damper on your romantic aspirations, let’s face it, if you are not a fan of socializing and you don’t consider yourself a limer, then you will have to put your love life on hold, as potential mates can only be found in either the office or the maxi/car ride home. So if you were lonely before, you might find yourself coming out of this SOE a little desperate. The fella at your office that was annoying two weeks ago will start getting appealing as the days go by.
Moving on to the more hopeful singles…
Maybe you just met somebody and just started going out, well think of it this way, you might not be able to see each other for late-night dates, but it’s not like he/she could do that with anybody else either, right? Well unless he/she living Siparia, then you’re in trouble.
You also might want to let them sleep over to be safe, but I know you’re concerned about rushing the process. But yuh cyah worry about what the man/woman go think if you sleep over (assuming is not dey mudda or fadda house). We in SOE, right? Or maybe allyuh will be sweet and cuddle, while watching reruns of press conferences or the Dominic Kalipersad vs. The AG interview on YouTube.
On the other hand, if you do enjoy the social aspect of Trini culture, then start taking advantage of curfew limes, or party in the day – although after the initial meeting at the party or lime, finding a suitable venue for a first date will present a major challenge. You now have to share MovieTowne, Cinemas 8, and, if you’re desperate, maybe even the zoo with the teenagers. Consider yourself warned, I went to Trincity Mall last Saturday, and it was swarming with people desperate for social interaction. So that one-on-one, getting to know each other session might have to be put on hold.
State of the Horner Man/Woman
As I heard one radio announcer say this week, horner men will start working some 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. shifts, below your bed. And it’s surprisingly easy to picture, because you may take away ‘The Avenue’, and the nightclubs, heck you can even threaten to take away our freedom of expression via Facebook monitoring, but to mess with a Trini’s sex life is unheard of.
All horner men/women will be faced with some pretty tough choices when it comes to ‘outside’ activities. “Should I stay or should I go?” is going to be the number one question, because going for a quickie and getting back home before 9 p.m. is going to prove to be a major problem. It might even get to the point where horner men and women become single men and women, because sneaking around is not wroth a fine of $3,000 or six months in jail. Not to mention, if the reason you’re horning in the first place is because the action you receive from the hubby or wifey is lacking, if horner man/woman decides to stay home, you get to suffer through the mediocre offerings of the person you’re committed to. And if you think no sex makes you cranky, bad sex makes you crankier, and after a couple weeks of not getting your ‘fix’, your mood is bound to affect your actual relationship. Plus, all the problems in your relationship that made you feel the need to cheat in the first place will be in your face with no distraction. Then again, you could use the opportunity to fix the issues so that at the end of this SOE, there would be no need to horn after all.
Whether you are in a serious relationship or jus’ playing around, if love (or lust) is on your mind, I know some of you all are going to find ways to work around the obstacles in your way. After a week of nothing to do you might be going stir-crazy already and dreaming of ways to teleport. I suggest, however, that you take this time to work on the problems you may have, or just be patient, until things work in your favour. Oh, and fellas now might actually offer you a good way to avoid temptation because we all know the calibre of women in sweet T&T. So use your time wisely, and make sure that when it’s all said and done, your love life doesn’t end up being in a real state of emergency.

LoveLockdownWith all the complaints about the State of Emergency (SOE) in T&T, it seems that one of the most important issues is being overlooked. I mean, yes, we’re all worried about the crime and the potential of police and army to act like Gadaffi thugs and brutalize the average citizen (we doh care bout de bandits and murderers; dem look for it), but we’re forgetting one thing. Some people are under real love lockdown. 

Now we can accept that our Government needs to do something to keep the criminals in check, and despite the mass panicking, and the cries from the family overseas that “they didn’t know Trini get so bad”, we are pretty much co-operating and allowing our lives to be guided by the SOE. And as much as we cannot do what seems to come naturally to us, such as partying and liming, we still need to save our love lives from extinction. After all, love makes the world go around (or is that money; I can never remember).

 

State of Relationships

Let’s breathe a sigh of relief, because this state of emergency means goodbye to that potent relationship-killer we call nagging. I genuinely sympathize with people whose significant other always calls in the middle of a lime with, “Where yuh? What time yuh coming home? You always liming eh”. Well during the SOE, these questions are no longer needed.

Your boo knows that unless you’re a criminal, gang member or delinquent, at 8.59 p.m., you will be in your house. And in a case where your babes is a limer, this SOE leaves time for some serious bonding (or bondage time, depending on your preference), so buss out the Kama Sutra manual and de handcuffs. Now whatever you do, be safe eh people, and if you know you’re not ready to be renamed Mommy or Daddy, try yuh bess not to be among the folks who going to make a baby boom, nine months from now, a definite possibility. Oh… and if your significant other finds other reasons to nag you at home, well… call Dr. Phil.

In addition to saving your love life, this SOE can also save you a lil money. Instead of constantly eating out at fancy restaurants or ordering take-out for dinner (KFC delivery shutting off 6 p.m. in hot spots eh), we get to save money, increase our cooking experience, and look romantic while doing it (bring out de ten-dollar candles!)..

And for those that are in a relationship, but are trying to get your partner to take it to the next level, take advantage of “state of emergency sleepovers”. Need I say more? No? Okay I won’t.

 

State of Singleness

For the people who are single, and it looking this curfew can put a damper on your romantic aspirations, let’s face it, if you are not a fan of socializing and you don’t consider yourself a limer, then you will have to put your love life on hold, as potential mates can only be found in either the office or the maxi/car ride home. So if you were lonely before, you might find yourself coming out of this SOE a little desperate. The fella at your office that was annoying two weeks ago will start getting appealing as the days go by. 

Moving on to the more hopeful singles…

Maybe you just met somebody and just started going out, well think of it this way, you might not be able to see each other for late-night dates, but it’s not like he/she could do that with anybody else either, right? Well unless he/she living Siparia, then you’re in trouble.

You also might want to let them sleep over to be safe, but I know you’re concerned about rushing the process. But yuh cyah worry about what the man/woman go think if you sleep over (assuming is not dey mudda or fadda house). We in SOE, right? Or maybe allyuh will be sweet and cuddle, while watching reruns of press conferences or the Dominic Kalipersad vs. The AG interview on YouTube.

On the other hand, if you do enjoy the social aspect of Trini culture, then start taking advantage of curfew limes, or party in the day – although after the initial meeting at the party or lime, finding a suitable venue for a first date will present a major challenge. You now have to share MovieTowne, Cinemas 8, and, if you’re desperate, maybe even the zoo with the teenagers. Consider yourself warned, I went to Trincity Mall last Saturday, and it was swarming with people desperate for social interaction. So that one-on-one, getting to know each other session might have to be put on hold.

 

State of the Horner Man/Woman

As I heard one radio announcer say this week, horner men will start working some 9 p.m. to 5 a.m. shifts, below your bed. And it’s surprisingly easy to picture, because you may take away ‘The Avenue’, and the nightclubs, heck you can even threaten to take away our freedom of expression via Facebook monitoring, but to mess with a Trini’s sex life is unheard of.

All horner men/women will be faced with some pretty tough choices when it comes to ‘outside’ activities. “Should I stay or should I go?” is going to be the number one question, because going for a quickie and getting back home before 9 p.m. is going to prove to be a major problem. It might even get to the point where horner men and women become single men and women, because sneaking around is not wroth a fine of $3,000 or six months in jail. Not to mention, if the reason you’re horning in the first place is because the action you receive from the hubby or wifey is lacking, if horner man/woman decides to stay home, you get to suffer through the mediocre offerings of the person you’re committed to. And if you think no sex makes you cranky, bad sex makes you crankier, and after a couple weeks of not getting your ‘fix’, your mood is bound to affect your actual relationship. Plus, all the problems in your relationship that made you feel the need to cheat in the first place will be in your face with no distraction. Then again, you could use the opportunity to fix the issues so that at the end of this SOE, there would be no need to horn after all.

Whether you are in a serious relationship or jus’ playing around, if love (or lust) is on your mind, I know some of you all are going to find ways to work around the obstacles in your way. After a week of nothing to do you might be going stir-crazy already and dreaming of ways to teleport. I suggest, however, that you take this time to work on the problems you may have, or just be patient, until things work in your favour. Oh, and fellas now might actually offer you a good way to avoid temptation because we all know the calibre of women in sweet T&T. So use your time wisely, and make sure that when it’s all said and done, your love life doesn’t end up being in a real state of emergency.

 

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Kalifa Clyne is a writer who spends all of her time writing or thinking about writing.

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