Oh year of new, how I’m ready for you with a vengeance. Already I know that I’ll need steely determination, better time management, more money (‘cause we always need more of that), and a great circle of people (which I already do) to pump me up with motivation, when I’m tempted to call it a day, and go build a shack in the mountains.
I’m entering the new year, sans resolutions. All I have are ‘must-dos’, and to do them I probably need an army to attack the high pile that awaits me. The chance of getting an army between now and January 1st is pretty slim though, so as any amateur, and sometime-ish, student of Sun Tzu would do, I’m creating my own edition of “The Art of War”.
See. Sometimes we think we need an army to accomplish our personal and professional goals, when all we need is an A-team. Any good general knows it’s better to have a small team of dedicated guerillas, than a fancily decked-out, large army of soldiers, and the only way to zero in on your super circle of friends and partners in success is to say “buh bye” to the people who subtract from your energy, multiply your stress, and add to your frustration. I don’t mean this in a negative way. All I’m saying is that you have the opportunity to shape your path, by wisely choosing who you walk with.
So here’s a list of some of the people it’d be best to give a Wendy wave, or a “talk to you from afar” for the new year.
1. People who promise, but don’t deliver
The average person dislikes politicians for this very reason; they promise you the world, and never deliver. Do you know anyone like that? If you do, then it’s probably a good idea to not depend on them… for anything… at all. They’ll promise to help you out, and not show up, take your phone calls or respond to e-mails.
For the new year, you need to establish a strike rule. You know three strikes and you’re out? Turn it into one strike and you’re out; and if they struck out this year, well, you know what to do.
With that said, reliable people are difficult to find. So if you’re blessed enough to have them in your life, show them some appreciation, because they are that small, guerilla group, who will be there for you… whenever you need them.
2. Man, and woman, who does send yuh mad
Now I doh have a man. So this one is not for me. But I know there are loads of ladies out there who let men ‘hurt their head’, and vice versa. Ladies and gents, if you’re seeing someone who keeps you a heartbeat away from a stroke, it’s time to bounce.
Remember the one strike rule I mentioned above? Use it here too. A person is only allowed to send you mad once. So if your romantic interest keeps you on a roller coast, come off at the next stop, and find another park to play in.
I’m not being a hater. I’m just trying to help you avoid wasting your time, emotions, and money. Where does money come into this? Well, just think about all the ice cream you buy (to eat your sorrows away), the cell phone minutes you use (complaining to all of your friends, and ultimately ‘eating up’ your credit), and the tab you pile up, going to parties, bars, and the cinema, trying to participate in any activity that takes your mind off the drama. If you calculate your tabanca tab, you’ll know it’s reason enough to say, “get out meh way”.
Forget Beyoncé’s “to the left, to the left”. You need something more forceful.
3. Fair-weather friends
While you’re getting rid of drama in the love department, say hasta la vista to fair-weather friends. They’re the ones who only call you when they need something – and never answer when you need assistance. They remember you exist only when they’re single, and need a wingman/woman. They talk about themselves incessantly – even if you called to tell them about something horrible that happened to you, and they show up for your fancy parties, but never for your solo cry sessions. Oh, fair-weather friends also equate friendship with what you have. So got a car? They’re your liming buddy. Let that car shut down? You’re on your own.
These are the people who you don’t have to feel badly about when you delete them from BBM, or don’t give them ‘small talk’ on Facebook anymore. Besides, they aren’t the ones you’re going to call when you need help, right?
4. Liars and hypocrites
Having the right circle of people around you is something people tend to be very lax about. However, you’ve got to screen everyone you let into your personal space, especially the liars and hypocrites. These are the people who will lie to you (obviously), saying one thing in front of your face, and telling others something else behind your back. They’ll attempt to destroy your reputation, and plot to block you from your dreams too.
The remedy for this is easy. Ignore them.
Next.
5. Negativity lovers
These include toxic friends, who forever criticize you or ‘pull you down’ in the name of ‘concern’. If they were really that concerned, they’d apply criticism in a more constructive manner that’s meant to simply show you the light, rather than make you feel worse. Then there are those people who always show you how what you want to achieve cannot prosper.
Add judgmental folks and people with ulterior motives to this group, and you’ll realize it’s not just Batman who has to watch his back. Not everyone who offers to help you is doing it out of ‘the goodness of their heart’. So consider asking Santa to switch that iPad you got… for a spirit of discernment.
As we move into the new year, it’s important to not just ask yourself what you want to achieve, but also who you’d like to achieve it with. Often, we get pushed into a corner, where we allow people to have their way, because we don’t want to seem like Judge Dredd. However, even the sweetest person needs to learn how to ‘stand up’ for himself or herself.
More importantly, while we let go of negative situations, it’s so very necessary to embrace and appreciate the people in our lives who help us to visualize and actualize our dreams.
This post was written by
Karel Mc Intosh – who has written 132 posts for Outlish Magazine.
Karel Mc Intosh is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Outlish Magazine. She's also a Communications Coach and Consultant, who likes to do things with a twist. A real online junkie, when she isn't surfing the Internet, she's thinking about surfing the Internet. Find out more about her at karelmcintosh.com or tweet her @outlishmagazine.
